


He looks like You

by foxy61



Category: London Spy, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual John, Boys Kissing, Danny isn't who John thinks he is, Fantasizing, John is missing Sherlock, M/M, Not Season/Series 03 Compliant, Pining John, Promiscuity, Romance, Secrets, Slow Burn, Snooker, You don't need to have seen London Spy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:49:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxy61/pseuds/foxy61
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sherlock killed himself John tried to work through his unrequited feelings for his dead flatmate by shagging anonymous men.  One morning he decided to stop and then he met Danny Holt.  Now he felt he may have been hasty.  It’s a slow burn romance between John and Danny. But Danny isn’t who John thinks he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Decisions and regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I saw London Spy with Ben Whishaw and this story just came to me. It wouldn’t let me go until I wrote it. Almost 12,000 words later and it is not quite finished. It is a cross over, Sherlock and London Spy. It has Danny Holt from London Spy, but AU because that is all from that show. Mark Gatiss is not Rich, Danny's former dealer, he is Mycroft. I have never felt like a story possessed me and demanded to be written. I hope you like it. Many thanks to haffieliesel my beta for help with my "tense" problem and for the britpick! Also calltainn for being a sounding board.

John Watson hated ''the morning walk of shame''. He never used to be like this. He huffed out a breath at himself with disgust. But that was a lifetime ago. That was when he awoke next to a woman, hopefully pretty. John, always a gentleman, would at least ask for their number, even if he never intended to call. This morning he had awoken to a bloke with appalling halitosis, snoring loudly mere centimetres from his face. After carefully extracting himself from the leg thrown over his thigh, his bed partner made a grumbling noise rolled over and resumed his snoring, albeit somewhat quieter. He located his clothing and slipped out the door of the bedroom. John started to pull on his pants and stopped with a disgusted groan. He had been royally pissed last night.  
John vaguely remembered his company last night had been overly eager to get things started. Jack, Jacob, Joseph (or some other J name) had stuck his hand down John's jeans and started wanking him before he had a chance to get his kit off. He had come almost immediately. The guy J.... whatever… had apologized and told John he was just so sexy he couldn't help himself. They could have another go in a few minutes. The bloke was probably twenty years his junior and didn't really consider the refractory period of a middle aged man. It had embarrassed John that he hadn't been up for a second round before they had fallen asleep. The younger man had been gorgeous. John was a little flattered to pull such a hot young thing. He was all waif thin, pale skin, and dark curls. The soiled pants were quickly abandoned in a nearby bin and John dressed quickly and quietly. He hated himself.

The walk in the early morning air cleared out the cobwebs and gave him some time for introspection. Some of the time he thought of joining a gym to get in shape, or possibly lowering his carb intake. Other times he considered holiday destinations. He had always wanted to visit New Zealand. The Lord of the Rings films shot there, showcased the beautiful scenic countryside. This morning he was dwelling on more serious topics. Specifically, the direction his life had taken in the last year with it's recent up tick in promiscuity.  
John knew what he was doing. Of course he knew. It disgusted him. Sherlock had died eleven months ago. He regretted, with all his heart that he had never acted on his feelings for his dynamic flat mate. Now, he was cruising gay bars on weekends, picking up strangers that reminded him of Sherlock and having anonymous hook-ups. Sometimes they recognized him from the news coverage about the ''Reichenbach Hero'' and his fall from grace. More times than not they didn't recognize him and that was just fine. He hadn't realized he was in love with Sherlock until it was too late. Sherlock is dead. He isn't coming back. John is trying to work through his unresolved feelings, one anonymous shag at a time.  
John was almost home. He saw a mobile on the pavement broken into several parts. He paused briefly and looked at it. He’s not sure why but he glanced towards the narrow alley between two buildings. It was starting to get lighter by the minute and he could barely make out a shape a couple of metres into the alleyway. He sees a slight movement. He realised that it was a person lying on the ground.  
John crossed the distance and crouched down. It was a person, who appears hurt.  
“Are you all right?” he asked as he grabed the person’s wrist. The wrist was warm and had a pulse. “Do you need some help?” The person groaned and moved slightly.  
“No,” a shaky male voice said softly, “I’m fine. Anyone who knows me knows I’m always fine.”  
John still holding the wrist said “No, I don’t think you are fine.” He helped the guy to turn so he was sitting on the ground and John got a proper look at him.  
At first John thought the person might be a woman or teenager because of the delicate bone structure of the wrist. Now that he had been able to get a better look at him John could see the stranger is an adult man, probably mid twenties to thirty. He was slender and wiry, not under nourished, but naturally slim. His skin was pale with a close cropped dark beard, and long dark curls. He was just the type John would love to find on his weekend forays into clubs, similar to Sherlock in a way but on a smaller scale. John quickly put those thoughts aside.  
The guy started to show more alertness, and tried to get up. John gently stayed his scrabbling movement. “Maybe you ought to stay down for a minute? I’m a doctor, my name is John. Do you mind if I check to make sure you are OK before you get up?”  
The stranger shruged. He said “OK, alright, I'll stay still. My name is Danny.”  
''So, Danny were you drinking last night?''' Danny noded his head slightly. ''Any drugs, recreational or otherwise?''  
Danny answered softly, ''Not tonight.''  
“Do you remember what happened to you?”  
John quickly did a cursory exam. While John looked him over he finds out his patient was wandering about after a night out. Three young men were following him talking loudly about how one of them liked his posh coat, it was leather and fairly expensive. They called him a fucking poof and a bum bandit and then attacked him. They took his coat and his wallet and were angry because it didn’t have much cash in it. Then they took his watch, an expensive gift, and his shoes. The men tossed his shoes over a nearby fence and smashed his phone. After that they beat him and kicked him until he lost consciousness.  
“OK Danny, I think you should probably go to A&E and report this”  
“No, no!” Danny exclaimed. “I’ll be fine.” He tried to push himself up with little effect.  
John again thought of Sherlock, this time it was his dread of hospitals.  
“OK, OK, tell you what. My building is the next one down. I’ll take a look at you, and if I think you’re OK you can go. If I see signs of a concussion or something I can’t treat with my first aid kit, I will call 999.  
''Ok I guess, that sounds good,'' Danny said. ''And thanks.''  
John helped Danny to stand, swayed and almost went down again. John caught him, with an arm around the waist. Somehow they made it to the building's door, and into the lift.  
John was able to get a better look at Danny in the brightly lit lift. Danny, although beaten and bruised, was a really good looking guy. He was about the same height as John, but a much finer bone structure.

It occurred to John that he probably shouldn't be doing this. He should have insisted that he call 999. At the very least he should have taken this man to A&E. Why did he say he would take this Danny home and treat him there? It was risking his licence treating a stranger in his kitchen if this turned out to be more serious than it seemed at first glance. John seemed to be making crap decisions lately. Oh well, what was one more? He'd made a snap decision and he'd follow through. He got Danny into his flat and settled into a kitchen chair. John found his medical kit and gathered a few towels from the loo and set to work.  
He checked for signs of concussion. Once he had cleaned the blood off his scratches and scrapes, most of the damage was superficial. A couple of the cuts were deeper and needed a steri-strip or two to hold them closed. John knelt in front of his patient and removed his socks. There were several slivers of glass in one foot. John removed them. He washed and dried Danny's feet, and fetched a pair of soft socks, and gently put them on Danny's feet. It turned out their feet were the same size. John said he could borrow a pair of his trainers to get himself home.  
As Danny sat he grimaced several times when he moved. John asked Danny to take his shirt off so he could check his ribs for fractures. The pale skin of Danny's chest was almost translucent and nearly hairless.  
All the while John tried to keep him talking, not just to access his mental state but to find out more about this exceptionally nice looking bloke sitting partially naked in his kitchen. Danny sat quietly, answered all of John's questions but didn't really add much.  
The ribs were bruised and would be sore but weren't broken. Danny shivered a bit, and gooseflesh had broken out on his arms. After John was mostly done, he offered to find Danny a jumper while the kettle was heating to make a cuppa. John picked a soft deep aubergine coloured jumper for Danny to put on. It was a little bit large on the other man, but it was one of John's favourites. The deep purple colour, that contrasted with his green eyes, looked fantastic on Danny, just as John knew it would.  
John finally settled across the table from Danny, both with steaming cups of tea in front of them. It was then Danny spoke. ''John, this was so kind of you, you really didn't have to do all this.''  
John nodded. "It really wasn't any problem."  
"I really shouldn't be here," Danny said with an inscrutable look. "If I could borrow your mobile, I'll give my friend Scotty a call and see if he is around. He can give me a lift home."  
John paused, feeling a wave of déjà vu. After a few beats, he handed Danny his mobile. "Sure."  
Danny took the phone and dialed a number. He listened for half a minute, and frowned. He hit disconnect. "He's away till Monday," Danny said with a slight frown and sigh, as he handed it back to John.  
"You really should not be alone for at least twenty-four hours after a blow to the head that caused you to lose consciousness. Do you have a flat mate or relative you could call?"  
With a large sigh Danny shook his head. "My flat mate is on holiday for a fortnight."  
"Well that settles it; you are staying here at least for today. Tonight I'll loan you the cab fare and we can have dinner during the week so you can repay me and give me back my trainers," John said with a sly smile.  
Danny returned the smile and arched an eyebrow. "Is that your way of asking me out on a date?" he said with a huff of a laugh. Then he immediately grimaced in pain, having forgotten his ribs.  
“Oh, you caught me,” John shook his head joked back, but turned a little pink. Finishing his tea he got up and took their mugs to the sink. He rinsed them and put them in the rack to dry. “I’ll kip on the couch and you can take the bed. I need to wake you every two hours to check on how you are doing. No argument!” John added.  
Danny wasn’t up to arguing. John grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge, for his patient. He needed to keep him hydrated, and he would need it to take the paracetamol. John helped Danny hobble to the bed in his bedroom. He found a t-shirt, sleep trousers a flannel, and a couple of towels and laid them on the bed next to Danny. “If you need the loo, it is right there,” as he pointed into the ensuite. “Just give me a shout out if you need anything and drink some water.”  
“Ta mate,” is all Danny said.  
John used the toilet, brushed his teeth, cracked open the door to the bedroom, and used the other door to return to the sitting room.  
John was lying on the sofa and staring at the ceiling. He had set his watch alarm for two hours to check on Danny. It had been an hour and forty-five minutes. Sleep hadn’t come despite his feeling totally done in. His mind played back over the early morning. Danny was attractive, yes but there is more to it than that. Thoughts in his brain swirled around and around. John running his hands over Danny's torso, feeling each rib under his fingertips. He remembered sliding his hand over the flat plane of the younger man’s chest and up to his collar bones. He was checking for any swelling. He remembers the small beige areola with it’s little pink nub. Of course he hadn't touched him there. There was no need. But now John's mouth was watering. He imagined taking one tiny nub into his mouth. Lavishing kisses and licks to it. Exhaling across the moisture to see it peak. Maybe even nibbling on it a bit. The alarm on his watch sounded and John came back to himself. He realized his pants are much tighter than they were minutes ago.  
He scolded himself internally and gave himself five minutes to think of anything but Danny laying in the next room asleep in his bed. Danny didn't do anything to encourage John's advances. If anything he seemed in a slight hurry to leave, as if there was a reason he shouldn't be there. Maybe he felt uncomfortable being in a stranger's flat when he was under the weather. Had John come on to him? John didn't think he had. John had definitely got the gay party boy vibe from Danny. In a pub or dance club he would have definitely made a move. Let him know he was interested, but he had schooled his face and tried not to let it show. John was sure of it.  
Finally feeling ready he quietly went into the bedroom. He reached out and gently shook Danny's shoulder. Danny awoke slowly. At first he seemed quite out of it. ''Danny, its John, How are you feeling?'' John said quietly. Danny looked slightly confused for a moment. Then he focused on John's face. ''I feel like I was run down by a lorry. What time is it?''  
''It's only been two hours, drink some water and you can go back to sleep.'' John handed him the half empty bottle. Danny raised his head enough to take a couple of swallows of water, nodded and in what seemed like moments he was breathing deeply again. John grabbed the water before it spilled and recapped it.  
John returned to the sofa for another two hours. It seemed unlikely he would be able to doze off. When the alarm went off he started awake. Well at least he'd been able to drop off this time. He checked on Danny and nothing seemed to have changed. It was almost noon, yet he went back to the sofa. At least another two hours and then he'd see to a little fry-up.  
Sleep did not find John again. He spent the next two hours thinking about how strange his life was now. After Sherlock jumped off St. Bart's roof John's life went down the drain. At least it felt that way sometimes. Yes he has a great job that came with a flat. He was wealthier than he ever expected to be. But in some very important ways his life was really fucked up.  
John's life was now divided. There was before, and there was after. John went into a deep depression. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, he sat in his chair at Baker Street and stared into space. The only time he left the flat was to visit Sherlock's grave once a week. Every Sunday he would shower, shave, comb his hair, and dress in his nicest suit. He would go and stand next to the shiny granite gravestone. Sometimes he would just stand silently. Sometimes he would talk to Sherlock trying to convince him for one more miracle, not to be dead. Occasionally he would reminisce about their adventures, and tell him how much he had loved him. How he should have told Sherlock that he was the love of his life. But most times he just cried. The tears would silently roll down his face, or the sobs would wrack his body until he fell to his knees. This went on for several months. Then one Sunday about the time he was getting ready to leave, a black car pulled into the cemetery and idled several rows over. It just sat there like a spectre from the past. This week he was standing by the cold stone with tears running down his face. He had decided to ignore the saloon completely when the rear door opened.  
The tall figure of Mycroft Holmes stepped out primly. He approached John slowly and quietly. With a sombre expression he said, ''John, we need to talk.''  
John turned around to face the interloper, ready to tear into him for intruding, and then stopped. Something in the older man's expression brought him up short. Mycroft looked weary and sad. Impeccably dressed as usual but he looked like he had aged ten years in the last few months.  
''John I'm worried about you,'' Mycroft said sincerely. ''Can we talk inside the car where it is warmer? Please, but do take your time, I will wait.'' With that Mycroft returned to the car.  
John took a couple of minutes to dry his eyes, blow his nose and compose himself. He would at least get a lift back to Baker Street. He was freezing. He reminded himself he doesn’t have to talk to Mycroft to get a lift. He approached the car and the door opened. He gots in and sighed as the warm air enveloped him. Mycroft turned to John. “Thank you for seeing me. I have been trying to contact you on a matter of some import.” John kept his eyes trained on his shoes.  
“It concerns my younger brother’s estate. As the executor of his will it falls to me to settle his affairs. He also came to me a week before,” he paused here to clear his throat and continued, “well, before you know...”  
“Sherlock at that time added an oral addendum to his will, should he perish within six months time.”  
John looked up with anger written on his face. “I am really not interested in any money from him or his bloody estate,” John bit out.  
Mycroft put his hand up to stop him.  
“Please, please John do hear me out,” Mycroft implored him.  
John sighed loudly, not having the energy to argue.  
Mycroft continued. “I’m sure you don’t realise how unique your relationship with my brother truly is.”  
John scowled, and bit out, “was, not is!”  
Mycroft nodded his head. “Quite right, was.” “Sherlock, to my knowledge, never had anyone he felt about, like he felt about you. I’m sure that my brother’s actions were never intended to cause you such discomfort.”  
John grimaced again. “Discomfort, yeah.”  
“He asked me at that time, if he perished, to watch out for you, to assure that you were not overly compromised by his actions.”  
“Not overly compromised? Not Overly Compromised? What is wrong with you bloody Holmes brothers!” John shouted as anger again clouded his face.  
“Apologies, I’m afraid, John, you are not understanding me. What I’m trying to say is that Sherlock cared for you very deeply, in his own way. You do not seem to be coping with the situation very well,” Mycroft continued. “I don’t know if you realize that shortly after you settled into Baker Street, Sherlock approached Mrs. Hudson about buying 221 Baker Street He used proceeds from his trust fund to buy the Baker Street property from Mrs. Hudson giving her lifetime use of it.”  
With this John looked up surprised. Mycroft continued. “My brother, with my assistance, also set up a trust for the building. It would provide funds for the upkeep and all expenses to be paid from the interest accrued on the capital. Sherlock cared for you and he wanted you to have the Baker Street property if something were to happen to him.''  
John looked absolutely gobsmacked, stunned speechless. So Mycroft continued. ''John, Baker Street belongs to you now. That was the easy item on our agenda. Now for the next item I need to discuss something that may anger you somewhat.'' John rolled his eyes towards the ceiling looking for all the world like he was seeking assistance from on high. ''I have given this matter some thought and discussed, confidentially of course, your situation and response to the last several months. I have come to the conclusion that a change is in order.''  
John looked at Mycroft and shook his head. A very odd, very sad half smile crossed his face. ''OK, go ahead I'm listening,'' and buried his face in his hands.  
''Well, John I think you need a change of scenery for a bit. I think you need a break from the center of London, despite now owning property. A position has opened up on the outskirts of the city that I think would suit you perfectly. It would necessitate a temporary move across London for a period of time, probably two years. Yes, two years should be adequate. The position comes with a furnished flat just down the road from the clinic. It is a clinic that mostly deals with combat veterans.''  
Mycroft continued, ''the pay will be comparable with what you are, sorry, were making at your former position. If you use this opportunity you could accrue a tidy little nest egg. I have devised this opportunity as a kind of reboot for you. I estimate two years should be adequate. In that time you may come to find you will be comfortable back at Baker Street. If at that time you no longer desire to return, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.''  
John looked very confused. John felt very confused, it was written all over his face. Silence descended on the car. While Mycroft was outlining his plans for John they had returned to Baker Street and parked in the alley behind the building. John looked like he may vomit. Then John looked like he was going to vomit. Then he was diving for the door to vomit on the pavement.  
Mycroft exited the car on the opposite side with a thick file folder under his arm, and stepped around to where John was on his knees. John hadn't eaten anything that morning so he had not expelled much. Mycroft helped him up the stairs to his flat, made John a cup of tea, and left John with his thoughts.  
In the end it had not been a hard decision. John packed his suitcases and left the next weekend.  
He had made time every month or so to go back to 221, and visit Mrs. Hudson. He would have a cuppa, or stay for tea. Sometimes he would go up the seventeen steps to flat B. Bless Mrs. Hudson she may not be the housekeeper but she dusted and kept the place up. He wandered around the flat with the ghost of Sherlock. He saw him at the table, that had been cleared months ago, peering into his microscope. He saw him lying with his back to the room, on the sofa that had been covered with a protective sheet. He saw him crouching in his chair with his feet on the seat, his Belstaff draped over his knees. He shed less and less tears every time he made a visit. The pain that had started out as a sharp stabbing receded to a dull ache.  
John had kept in touch with Lestrade every couple of months or so. They would meet up at a pub and watch footie or rugby. He visited St Barts occasionally to drop in on Molly or Mike Stamford. He always avoided the entrances near the site where Sherlock had landed.  
John felt like he was really healing. Except... When he was going down on a conquest and looked upwards he saw Sherlock with a look of bliss on his face. When he was in bed with some bloke he met in a bar he felt Sherlock behind him reaching around to stroke him with those long dexterous fingers. When he was dancing in a dark club, moving in tandem with another man, as if they were one person, it was Sherlock.  
Then the guy said something and the accent was all wrong. Or the hands had calluses in places Sherlock would never have. Or the flickering lights would illuminate the face of his dance partner. The fantasy would be gone. It left John feeling like shite. He was a bit not good, and he despised himself at those moments.  
John wasn't sure why now but he made himself a promise, this stops now! Probably it had something to do with lusting after an injured person who was in his care. That was a line he wasn't going to cross. It was decided he would do all that was in his power to be a good man and not to give into temptation.  
It was almost time to check Danny again. John took a quick shower and put on his dressing gown. He finished his morning routine, then rummaged through the closet for an extra tooth brush. He then quietly opened the door into the bedroom. Danny looked as if the shower sounds had woken him. He was finishing the bottled water.  
''Morning,” John said cheerfully, ''and how are you doing?''  
Danny seemed to take stock of how he felt. ''Been better, but I’m not as bad as last night. Say, John this was such a nice thing for you to do for me.''  
John held up his hand, ''no problem. Are you up to eating something? I have food in for a fry-up, if you'd like.''  
Danny smiled at this. ‘'That would be very nice.''  
''I threw your clothes from last night in my laundry and they should be just about dry. If you want to get cleaned up, I put an extra toothbrush out for you on the sink. I'll get the food started.'' John gave him one of his extra dressing gowns and left him to his ablutions.  
Several minutes later Danny emerged from the bathroom looking well scrubbed with his riot of dark curls damp from the shower. He was wrapped in John's only silk dressing gown and looked good enough to eat or at least nibble on. John scolded himself for those thoughts and turned back to the cooker. Danny limped over to the kitchen table and seated himself. John slid a steaming cup of tea in front of Danny, saying,'' two sugars like last night.'' Danny nodded.  
John served their breakfast and sat down across the table. As they ate the conversation flowed around them comfortably. John learned that Danny had indeed recognized him from his time with Sherlock. He also had not believed the stories that Sherlock was a fraud. He had heard of the ‘I believe in Sherlock Holmes’ groups that had sprung up around London, and had even gone to one of their events with his flat mate.  
Danny told of his friend Scotty and their close friendship. He spoke of his life as a party boy, and how he was getting too old to keep it up much longer, especially after last night. Danny said he enjoys working at the warehouse even though sometimes it bores him to tears. He sometimes wished he had gone to uni as his family expected him to but he treasured the memories of traveling the world for twelve years before returning to London. He told John of coming out to his parents at age ten, but they just shrugged it off because his two older brothers had already come out as well.  
John told him of his the war in Afghanistan, how the sand got everywhere and the hot sun was torture for a Londoner, but the camaraderie couldn't be beaten. He didn't talk about Sherlock because that was still too raw. He spoke of his current position at the clinic and how he enjoyed helping veterans.  
They talked over multiple cups of tea until John noticed the sun was going down. The conversation was almost effortless.  
Before it was completely dark John went outside in search of Danny's shoes where the muggers had tossed them. Weirdly he found one that had landed in a depression filled with water, and the other one was nowhere to be seen.  
Even though it had not been quite twenty-four hours since Danny was attacked John thought it would be OK for Danny to leave if he took it easy. John insisted that Danny take extra money to purchase a disposable mobile on his way home so John could check up on him later in the evening. John also said he should probably call in tomorrow so he can report the attack to the police, replace his stolen items and take it easy. Danny laughed at that. ''You think if I take care of all that it will be possible to take it easy at all.''  
At eight PM Danny was finally ready to depart. With John's trainers on his feet, a wad of cash in his pocket and an extra jacket (John insisted Danny keep because it looked better on him and it was a little too tight on John), Danny went to the door. He thanked John again for all he had done for him, for the delicious food and the great conversation. They decided to meet for dinner on Friday next, at a casual Chinese place Danny favored. John walked him out. When they turned towards each other to say goodbye, John went to stick out his hand, and Danny pulled him into a tight hug. As the embrace ended John pulled back and Danny gave him a tender chaste kiss on his lips. And he was gone.  
John shut the door and leaned his back against it letting out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. ''I'm so fucked,'' John whispered to the universe. Platonic friends, yeah right!  
Two hours later John’s phone rang. Unknown caller. It was Danny, he got back to his flat and just wanted to say thank you again and good night. John realized that he was well and truly fucked. He was smitten.  
Danny and John texted back and forth several times daily all week. Danny went back to work Tuesday. His foot bothered him a little, but besides that he had recovered from his injuries quickly.  
John was actually getting more nervous the closer it got to Friday. He wasn't supposed to have romantic or sexual feelings towards Danny. He had decided that, but his libido didn't seem to have gotten the memo. John had enjoyed the conversation Sunday. It was easy and natural. It was if they were old friends.  
Friday finally came and John found himself whistling softly in the clinic, between patients. His favorite nurse Mary noticed how good his mood was. ''You’re in a good mood today,'' Mary said giving John her sweetest smile.  
John liked Mary. She was a sweet woman. In another life he probably would have not wasted any time asking her out. But that was “Before”.  
After work John went home and showered. He decided maybe he should take the edge off his pent up sexual energy. As he lathered up his body, the shower gel felt fantastic. It was an expensive brand that reminded him of his former flatmate. He ran his hand up and down, pulled his foreskin out slightly, and then let it slide back to cover his glans. He usually thought of Sherlock when he touched himself. He imagined how Sherlock might have looked if John had touched him. He closed his eyes to conjure Sherlock's image and very soon he was moaning out his completion with Sherlock's name on his lips.  
Having taken care of his body's needs he dressed quickly in the outfit he had chosen last evening. John had chosen a deep blue shirt that people have said that it complimented his blue eyes. The shirt left open at the collar was topped by a casual gray flannel jacket with a fine royal pinstripe and matching trousers.  
The outfit made John look cuddly. At least that is what his nurse Mary told him. He had once unexpectedly run into her while at a pub. Seeing a coworker from the office while out he had bought her a drink. She had kept reaching out and rubbing her hand up and down his jacket sleeve, almost petting him.  
Coming from across the city, John arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes early. Better early than late, he told himself. He stood outside, and looked in the front window. It was a small but nice looking place. There were probably ten or so tables, though only about half had customers. They all had little votive candles on them that reminded him of Angelo's. There was a take out menu posted in the window beside the door. He stood on the pavement and looked over the menu. He glanced over at the door. The bottom third of the handle meant that this was an excellent Chinese restaurant. He had learned a thing or two from his time with Sherlock.  
Lost in thought, John didn't notice Danny come up to stand beside him. ''Hello John, I see you found the place.'' He was standing a little closer to John than was normal for acquaintances. John could smell Danny's scent, probably his cologne. It was an unusual scent John didn't recognize. It smelled a little of spice, coconut, leather, and something else indefinable, but familiar.  
John smiled broadly at Danny. ''Yeah I found the place, shall we?'' John motioned towards the door with the promising handle.  
They were seated and ordered their food, and a pot of tea. John ordered MuShu pork and Danny ordered Sesame Chicken. They split an order of prawn toast. When their main courses came, Danny asked what John had ordered because he had never had MuShu before. John explained that the dish usually has sliced pork, cabbage, bamboo shoots, scallions and mushrooms, sautéed with scrambled eggs. It comes with several little mandarin pancakes. John asked if Danny would like to try some. Danny was intrigued at the sound of the dish. He answered, ''yes I'd love to try some. I've never even seen anyone order it before.'' Danny prepared the bundle of a pancake with the veg and meat inside, as he had seen John do and took a small bite. While Danny sampled this unfamiliar dish, John explained. ''MuShu is popular in American Chinese restaurants. Harry my sister,'' he continued, ''was married to an American named Clara. She was partial to the dish and would make it sometimes when I came around. I haven't seen it served in many restaurants in London so was happy to see it on the menu here.''  
This seemed to re-energize the conversation. Danny asked about John's family and if he were close to them. John spent a few minutes sharing the story of Sherlock deducing that he had a brother the first time he had met Sherlock. Danny found this really funny.  
Then John inquired about Danny's family. Danny immediately stopped laughing with a sad look on his face. John said he was sorry if it was an uncomfortable subject. Danny reassured him that it was OK. ''I just don't see my family very often. As I said the other night, I have two older brothers. I'm not really close to either one. We grew up outside London in the country. We all moved to London, within eight miles of each other but I never see them. Well rarely. I am more or less the black sheep of the family.'' Danny huffed out a bitter sounding little laugh. He looked more than a little upset, but continued. ''Which is kind of ironic considering my middle brother is a drug addict. Well a recovering addict, I don't think he's been using recently. I may use occasionally but it's not often.” Danny looked more than a little upset, but he continued. ''I feel really comfortable with you. Like I can share this with you. Usually I don't talk about this with anyone.''  
John put his hand out indicating that Danny should continue. Inwardly, John felt pretty good that they were connecting on such a deep level.  
''My oldest brother is a control freak, we used to refer to him as Big Brother, as in George Orwell's 1984. I think he was always secretly thrilled when his younger brothers messed up. And we often try our best to do as he expects. At least I always did.”  
“I have settled down quite a bit, but I really messed when I first left home. We were expected to go to uni but I spent that money, and more, very foolishly.” He said with a look of remorse. “I mentioned traveling for twelve years instead of going to uni which sounds lighthearted and fun, like an adventure. I usually skip over the bad parts when I talk about that part of my life. I got into quite bit of trouble while visiting Cambodia. I was lucky to get out in one piece and my whole family was disgraced. It almost became an international incident. If I had asked for help things might have been different, but being young and foolish I didn't want anything to do with them. I even went so far as to change my name. And by the time I came to my senses most of the damage was done. I haven't seen my Mum and Dad for several years.” The younger man looked very sad. “I sometimes wish I could patch things up with my family or at least with my brothers. My middle brother left London on business to travel abroad last year. Maybe when he gets back,'' Danny says with a sigh but doesn't finish the thought.  
''Anyway Big Brother thinks he is a big shot because he has an important job. Despite that he is very lonely and really very unhappy. I think he just needs to get laid. But then doesn't everyone.'' Danny finished with a small laugh.  
John laughed with him but wondered if he should tell Danny that he just decided to try to give sex up. Just now he is feeling that may have been a hasty decision.  
Conversation returned to lighter topics. While discussing telly programs they found they both had an affection for Doctor Who. John told of his mother’s love for all things Doctor Who. When he and Harry were young they watched all the old episodes. John's mum had been in love with Tom Baker back in the day with the long multi coloured scarf and luxuriant curls.  
John had a wicked crush on Sarah Jane Smith, until a dashing young Peter Davison became the Doctor. With his cricket outfit and cute dimples he stole John's heart. His mum always wondered about his sudden craving for green stringy veg. John was only ten but he was in love. He actually had his first wet dream as a teen about the Fifth Doctor. He told Danny he had never shared that secret with another human being. His sister professed her love for Leela and even into adulthood would always pick out a fancy dress outfit that reminded her of the skimpy outfit worn in the show.  
Danny hadn't watched Doctor Who as a kid. His family didn't really have a television. Well actually the help had one in the downstairs kitchen. He and his middle brother would sneak down and watch it with the nannies. ''They felt sorry for us.'' And of course every Christmas day the staff TV was carried upstairs and placed in the front room so the whole house could watch the Queen’s speach together.  
As for the new Doctor Who episodes, Danny kind of liked it. He said he sometimes watched the newer episodes with his downstairs neighbours, a single mum and her son. Both Danny and John agreed that David Tennant was the best incarnation of the Doctor and hot too. John's favorite companion was Donna Noble. While Danny said Captain Jack Harkness was his favorite. That was until John brought up River Song. They both loved River and her 'Hello sweetie' greeting. That's all she had to say and the Doctor knew who it was from.  
They were both enjoying themselves and had no desire for the evening to end this soon. Danny knew of a pub that was on the quiet side so they could continue talking. He said it was a short walk away.  
They were finishing up their meals and the waitress came with the bill and also a couple of fortune cookies. John reached for it and took the bill and a cookie. Danny grabbed the other one and opened his cookie first.  
"A chance meeting opens new success, friendship, and love." Danny read his. "That's a good one," he said as he crunched on the nearly tasteless confection. "Hey I met you by chance," he said with a sly smile as if realizing it for the first time.  
John motioned for the waitress to come and collect his card to pay. He opened his cookie, read the fortune and smiled. "I think you need to read this, "he said as he handed the slip of paper over to Danny.  
Danny read it and smiled back. "Hello Sweetie," he replied. John's message had read 'A very attractive person has a message for you.'  
They left the restaurant and slowly walked down the pavement shoulders bumping occasionally. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes until Danny spoke. ''So, I was on my computer yesterday and I looked up your old blog. I saw you haven't updated it lately.'' John looked over at Danny to gauge his intent. The truth was that shortly after John had started getting his life back on track he had been approached by people looking for a story. They were mostly journalists just looking for dirt about the infamous detective and his devoted blogger. John stopped walking and straightened his spine a little, and looked into Danny's face. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. Questions people often asked were, did John know Sherlock was a fraud? Was John in on the scam? And John's least favorite, what was Sherlock Holmes like in bed? That last one really bothered him the most. Seeing honest curiosity there, John said, ''there's not much to write about these days.'' They continue walking.  
''Yes,'' Danny said, ''I guess life as a doctor is probably is not as exciting as chasing a consulting detective around London. From what I could read between the lines of your narrative, he also seemed like he might have been a little frustrating to live with. No?''  
This made John chuckle. ''Yes, you are right. And you don't know the half of it. Sherlock could be quite a pain in the arse, but he was also my best friend.” Then he added wistfully, “And I miss him more than you can know.”  
Danny stopped walking just under a street light. He reached out rested his hand on John’s shoulder. John could see there was sadness in his eyes. “I understand, it’s hard when you love someone and..." he didn't finish his sentence but audibly swallowed the lump in his throat.  
John made a dismissive motion and Danny enveloped him in a hug. John melted into Danny's warm embrace. They stood with their chin on the other man's shoulder. John breathed in the smell he had noticed earlier. The hug felt wonderful. He was no longer on a city street, he was in a warm contented bubble. Time seemed to stop for the couple. John could feel Danny's warm body against him with its masculine planes. He slipped his arms around Danny's waist and they stood like that for what seemed like an eternity to John. Finally Danny let him go. "You looked like you needed a hug."  
"Ta, mate, I guess I did." John answered as they resumed walking this time hand in hand.  
They were almost in front of the bar Danny had suggested. So they went inside. It had a cosy ambiance despite the size of the place. The large bar that occupied the center of the room was made of gleaming polished wood. The colourful spirits bottles were lined up behind the bar like soldiers. What wasn't polished wood was shining brass. The ambiance was what the tourist books called old English pub. Despite it being a Friday evening the pub was not crowded. There were leather club chairs surrounding tables of polished wood. Up a sweeping staircase to the left of the bar was a second floor of seating area. A brass rail ran the length of the room making up the balcony area. Tables and chairs, and the occasional sofa provided more secluded areas for more intimate conversation. John started towards the staircase with Danny in tow. They found comfy sofa in an alcove and a waitress came and took their drinks order. John gazed in thought at their hands that were intertwined. He was still in an introspective mood. ''Danny,'' John said, ''I need to tell you something important. The morning we met I had been doing some soul searching. I had come to the decision that I had been behaving like a slag. I don't think what I had been doing was healthy for me mentally or physically, although I never played bareback. Then I met you. I am very attracted to you and I'd like to see where this goes. ''  
Danny who had been listening intently nodded. ''I think it's good if we take things slow.'''  
Relieved John smiled broadly. ''Thanks for that,'' then he added with a laugh, ''I'll let you know when I change my mind. Cheers.''  
They turned back to lighter conversation, and had a couple of rounds of drinks. Before they knew it the pub was closing. They gave each other a tender kiss just the other side of platonic and they said their goodnights.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning John woke a little after ten am. The night before had been very nice. He really enjoyed Danny's company. There were a couple of minor bumps along the way but, all in all, it had been enjoyable. Yet he felt conflicted. After John got home his text alert sounded.  
I had a really good time tonight  
Good night sweetie.~D  
Before they had gone their separate ways they had discussed films in the cinema at present. They had both heard of Cloud Atlas and talked about seeing it together. John checked the times that it was showing in several cinemas. He then rang Danny.  
As John sat, talking on the phone, his eyes wandered over the collection of paper that was scattered haphazardly on his desk. His eyes happened to fall on a specific sheaf of papers. Suddenly he cried out.''Oh no!.''  
Danny asked concern lacing his voice,''What's the matter?''  
''Oh, I'm sorry there was an errand I forgot about.''  
''OK, do you need to cancel?''  
''No,'' he said thinking.'' You could come with me. It won't take more than ten minutes. I just need to get the signature of Mrs Hudson, my old landlady. Actually we could catch the film at a cinema near where I used to live.''  
''That's on Baker Street, isn’t it?''  
''Yes that's right. What's the weather like today?''  
''I'm not sure. Actually it looks nice out.'' Danny said sliding his window open to check the temperature. ''Yes it feels warm.''  
''Would you like to meet me at Baker Street station, After I take care of my paperwork we could walk through the park. It's on the way to the cinema. There are several little cafes near by we could pick up some sandwiches and eat them in or as we walk.''  
''That sounds like a great plan!'' Danny said.  
So they decided on a time and rang off. John had to hurry and get a shower. He also wanted to have a quick wank. It seemed he was doing a lot of masturbating lately. Not quite the frequency of when he lived with Sherlock, but close. Living with Sherlock had made him like a horny teen again. This thing with Danny was frustrating. Maybe he should just shag him and get it over with? But Danny wouldn't be a casual shag. He was already too attached to have it be anonymous. He'd just have to continue the way it was going and see where it ended up. Hopefully neither of them would end up hurt too badly.  
Once in the shower he thought of Sherlock's colour changing eyes. John wondered what they would look like when he was turned on? He thought they would probably deepen in colour. He regretted having never seen them in that state. What would he sound like when aroused? John thought for sure his voice would deepen. That rich baritone voice would probably have gone right to his cock. He was in a hurry here, he really didn't have time to go off on self- indulgent tangents.  
He decided he really needed to get on with his shower. He squeezed a dollop of shampoo into his hand. It had a lovely coconut fragrance. It reminded him of Danny's aftershave or what ever made him smell so good yesterday. OK now he needed a wank.  
John was running ten minutes late when he left his flat. He texted Danny he would be late. He had also rang Mrs Hudson to make sure she was home.  
Arriving at Baker Street station, he saw Danny leaning against a wall obviously killing time fiddling with his mobile. John stopped and just looked at the other man. God he was gorgeous. He rivaled Sherlock in the looks department. From the right angle he almost looked like Sherlock but in a smaller package. Kind of like those miniature chocolate bars, fun size, they were called. This thought made him laugh out loud. At that Danny looked up and met John's gaze. A wide smile lit his face, even his eyes looked like they were smiling.  
''Hey what's so funny?''  
John, without thinking, blurted out, ''I was just thinking how you look like Sherlock but in fun size, like the chocolate bars.''  
A cloud seemed to descend over the Danny’s face.  
John clamped his hand over his mouth. ''Oh my God. I did not just say that.''  
Danny looked John straight in the eyes with a deadly serious look on his face. He started to say, ''John I can'' but John cut him off.  
''I am so sorry. I didn't mean it the way it came out. It's just Sherlock towered over me and its nice not to always have to look up, and.''  
That is when Danny cut him off, ''Listen John let me,'' only to be cut off by John again.  
''Please lets start over,'' John said pleading. ''Hi Danny, it's nice to see you.''  
''OK, Hi John,'' he said as he reached out and took his hand ''lets go.''  
John sighed in relief, ''yes, lets.'' The two men left the underground station hand in hand.  
It was a short quiet walk to 221. John took out his key and let them in. He rapped on the door of the first floor flat. The door opened and Mrs. Hudson stood there with a cheerful smile on her face. ''Oh John dear, please do come in. I've just taken a batch of biscuits from the oven and the kettle should be boiling in no time, ''she said as she quickly kissed his cheek.  
It was then that she noticed Danny standing behind John. ''And who do we have here?''  
John took a small step back, ''This is my friend Danny. Danny this is Martha Hudson.''  
Danny shook the Mrs. Hudson’s hand.  
''Welcome, come on in and I'll get you that cuppa.'' Mrs. Hudson led them into her kitchen. Before long the three of them were seated around the table with cups of tea and a plate of biscuits in the centre The biscuits looked delicious and John helped himself.  
''Oh Mrs Hudson, I've missed your baking,'' John almost moaned with a blissful expression on his face.  
Danny took one and tried it. It was indeed wonderful and he said as much. John made small talk with his former landlady, while Danny's eyes were more or less fixated on John. While John was distracted with the signing of paperwork, he had a chance to really look at John. John was an attractive man and Danny looked at him with longing.  
John finished up his task, and put the papers in a sturdy envelope to send out. Mrs Hudson volunteered to give it to the postman on Monday.  
The woman escorted them to the door. ''If was so nice to meet you Danny,'' she said before turning to John. She pulled him in close kissing his cheek lightly and whispered in his ear, ''I like your young man, and I'm pretty sure he is smitten.''  
''Ta Mrs Hudson,'' he said as he pulled away.  
It was a very pleasant walk to a cafe down the street. They selected sandwiches and had them wrapped to take with them.  
They walked to the park. It was a beautiful autumn day. John led Danny in the direction of his and Sherlock's favorite spot in the park. The canopy of leaves were an orange and yellow umbrella overhead. The leaves that had given in to gravity made a crunchy carpet on the ground. A park bench, romantically situated in an alcove of trees, was surprisingly unoccupied. He was unsure about being there, in a spot that he associated with Sherlock. This bench was where he or Sherlock would usually end up when either one of them needed air.  
Danny looked around himself. "This is the most beautiful, romantic place," he said as he turned on the bench towards John. "May I kiss you?"  
''Yes you may,'' John said with a little laugh. ''I would like that.'' With this John met Danny halfway.  
It was a sweet kiss, not overly passionate. It was a kiss that connected them emotionally.  
Danny smiled broadly. He had been carrying the bag with the sandwiches in it. John had carried the bag with two bottles of water. Mrs Hudson had also wrapped four biscuits for them to take with them. Danny removed the sandwiches and handed John his.  
The men ate in companionable silence. Enjoying the day, and each other’s company. The sounds of London a steady muffled presence in the background. But there were bird songs and the faint hum of insects as well.  
When they had finished the sandwiches Danny commented, "This place is beautiful. Being right in the middle of a large city, and it almost feels like we are in the country. I really like it here." As he spoke he turned to face John. John licked his lips.  
"Yes, I've always loved this spot." John said as he kissed Danny again gently. Their eyes met and John noticed Danny’s pupils were blown wide in this secluded corner of the park. They were drawn into another kiss.  
At first the kiss was just the touching of lips. Danny was the first to slip his tongue beyond his lips and graze John's lips. John in return stuck the very tip of his tongue out and briefly touched the tip of the other man's tongue, before retreating. Danny reached up and gently placed his hand behind John's neck pulling the other man towards him. His thumb rubbing, softly caressing the other man’s earlobe. They kissed, lips pressing together time after time. With just the two of them in this secluded spot it felt like the rest of the world had disappeared.  
Sometime later, looking slightly debauched John and Danny left the park.  
They walked, hands entwined to the cinema. They arrived at there half an hour to spare. They bought a popcorn two soft drinks and found the correct cinema. They were the first patrons. The couple found seats and sat down. The Danny was holding their shared popcorn. John reached out and scooped up a handful of popcorn. Danny teasingly pulled the paper bucket back. Half of the popcorn tumbled from John's hand. John looked at Danny with narrowed eyes. "You did not just do that," he bit out, but still smiling. The few kernels of popcorn that were still clutched in his hand were soon sailing through the air towards Danny's head. "I've been to war don't you forget."  
Danny took a couple of pieces from the bucket and held them for several beats. He looked as though he was calculating his next move thoughtfully. "Oh I'm well aware of that," he seemed to have come to a decision, as he tossed the snack in the air and caught it his mouth.  
"Yes, discretion is the better part of valour," John sagely agreed. Then John tossed his next handful one piece at a time into the air to catch it. They were both giggling and tossing popcorn until the sound of the door to the cinema opened and three more patrons entered. The sound of the laughing men stopped abruptly as they looked in each other's eyes. Danny had a small portion of a kernel stuck to his cheek. "Hey, you've got a piece..." John indicated pointing vaguely at his face. Danny swiped his hand over his face completely missing the popcorn. "No you missed it. It's right there," he said gesturing towards his cheek. "Here let me."  
John reached out and took Danny's face in his hands and nibbled it from Danny's cheek.  
“OK, behave yourself, young man,” John said sternly.  
“Oh, I’ll behave old man you just watch yourself.” They were both grinning widely.  
The lights went down, and the film started. About three minutes in an actor came on screen. He looked almost exactly like Danny. John looked back and forth between the screen and Danny. Almost identical, John thought. John leaned over towards Danny and whispered in his ear, “you look like a movie star.”  
“Not me, that other guy looks almost exactly like my friend Scottie.”  
John whispers back,“ they say almost everyone has a double.” Someone behind them makes a shushing sound. The Cinema was fairly crowded so they remained quiet for the rest of the film. While they had been inside the weather had turned cold and rainy. Neither one was really prepared for the temperature. There was an Italian restaurant a couple of doors down. They made a run for it and were wet but not soaked to the skin. They were not really hungry but it was a warm place to dry off. They decided to order drinks and a couple of starters. The booth they were seated in was cozy and relaxing.  
After their orders were placed, John spoke first. “That was a good movie. But I can’t get over that actor who looks like you.”  
“Yea, I guess he does look like me. But I think you look like someone too,” Danny said. “There used to be a sitcom, about an office, that had a guy in it that looked like you. Well that and a hot sexy guy I dated.” Danny was grinning again.  
“Who is he? Is he cuter than me? Do I have to beat him up?” John said in mock anger.  
“Nah, he was a wanker anyway.” They both dissolved into laughter.  
While they sat John thought about his state of happiness. He didn’t think he had ever laughed as much with anyone as he had with Danny the short time he had known the man.  
Thinking back over the film they had watched he wondered if there were any souls he had encountered in past lives. He had thought he and Sherlock were destined to be together. But he and Danny had just clicked from the start. His eyes were a million miles away.  
Danny got his attention by placing one of his hands on John’s where they were clasped on the table.  
John looked caught out. “Sorry, I was just thinking about the film. I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation, but it’s a nice idea. Do you believe in things like that?”  
The dark haired man considered this. “I’m not sure, but I’ve always liked the sound of karma. Although sometimes things happen by accident. You don’t mean for the thing to happen but it does anyway. To be penalized for an unintended action... “Danny trailed off. “Yeah I’m really not sure.”  
They continued to eat and chat. Before long it was time to say good night. At least the rain had stopped. They walked arm in arm to the underground station. There was an area in this station that afforded them a small amount of privacy. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes. They kissed passionately. Their time was up. They kissed again and parted ways. Even though the next day was Sunday, John had a half shift at the clinic. It was for emergency conditions that couldn’t wait for Monday.  
When John got home from their date he texted Danny.  
I had a great time today.~JW  
Me too~D  
I love kissing you~JW  
You have the softest lips I’ve ever kissed~JW  
TY~D  
Almost like a girls~JW  
Most girls don’t have hair on their faces like me~D  
Too true~JW  
Goodnight sweetie~D  
Goodnight, Danny~JW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1379.photobucket.com/user/foxyheidi1/media/park%20bench.fw_zpskfp1tqdx.png.html)  
>  This is a photo of a secluded spot in Regent's park(from google earth). It's right around the corner from Baker Street. A perfect spot for a picnic lunch and some snogging.


	3. Snooker and Brunch with Scottie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Danny play a game of snooker at Danny's favorite pub and have brunch with Scottie(Danny's friend from London Spy). Danny has a secret that he is afraid to share with John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snooker is a billiards game that is similar to pool. I know nothing of snooker except what my friend Wikipedia has to say. You don't need to know anything more than what I've written. But if you want to know more...  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_snooker

Over the next week and a half, John and Danny talked every night on the phone. John had to go to a medical conference, and was very busy.   
The next time they could have a date was Saturday November the 2nd. It was a cold blustery day. At four degrees Celsius with wind and rain it was a nasty day outside. John and Danny had discussed several options but due to the weather, only a couple were really good choices. John mentioned he enjoyed a good game of snooker. He had always fancied himself a fairly good player so he challenged Danny to a match, best of nine frames. The winner got to pick the next date's activity. There was a pub where Danny knew the owner, and could usually get a table at short notice. He gave John the address and they decided on a time. 

When John got to the bar Danny was already there. John entered the pub unseen. He stood just inside the door quietly enjoying the warmth inside. The place smelled of fish and chips and beer. John breathed in deeply. He thought back to his time in Afghanistan. One of the things he missed the most while deployed was fish and chips. The slightly sweet mild flavour and tender texture of the fish, the tang of vinegar, and the crunch of the coating all reminded him of home. The golden fried chips, steaming hot, rounded out his favourite comfort food.   
He saw Danny across the room and just stood watching him, standing at the bar talking to four blokes who all looked younger than thirty. Looking at his boyfriend, with his young friends, made John feel just this side of ancient. They were talking fairly loudly and laughing. The bartender looked like he could have been a model in a catalogue that catered to the punk rock teen crowd. The man's long wavy hair was jet black and he had dark heavily applied eye makeup. He had black jeans that looked painted on, a very tight David Bowie tee, and a leather dog collar. John couldn't see the footwear but guessed they would be combat boots. John had always fantasized about what Sherlock would have looked like in a get up like that. John almost turned on his heal and retreated. What was he even doing? he asked himself.   
The bartender noticed him. He said something to Danny, who turned and caught John's eye. Danny's face lit up. That is what I'm doing here, John told himself. Danny walked over and took John's coat and walked towards the billiard tables near the back. He hung John's jacket next to his own coat. Danny put his lips to John's ear and said, ''are you OK?'' He apparently had noticed the look of near panic on John's face. John shook his head slightly. "Your friends look so young."   
''There is nothing to be afraid of. They will love you.'' Danny gave John a quick peck on the lips.   
They went back over to the bar. Danny indicated the bar tender. "John, this is one of my oldest friends, Egbert. Egbert this is Doctor John Watson my...''Danny stopped and looked up as if searching for a word. ''My John Watson,'' he finished with a laugh. The bartender scowled at Danny, pulled a pint of ale and set it in front of John.  
''You know I changed my name, Eustace.''  
''Touche.'' The two men shared a laugh. Danny corrected himself ''OK this is Spider."  
John looked back and forth between the men. "Nice to meet you, Spider. Eustace? Really?" John said with a laugh.   
"Why do you think I changed my name." Danny turned to the group of his friends. "John this is Clive, Pete, Robert and Hugh. Guys this John Watson."  
"Hi guys, nice to meet you."  
Pete was a tall gangly bloke with a shock of red hair and quite a lot of pimples. He didn't look to be a day over 25. "So you the John Watson who was Sherlock Holmes' friend."  
"Yes," John answered, unsure where this was going.  
Pete said, "Too bad about him, I didn't believe the tabloids."  
"Thanks."  
Pete raised his glass. "To Sherlock Holmes"  
They all raised their glasses and said, "To Sherlock Holmes."   
John's throat felt a little tight. He raised his glass to his lips, and pretended to drink. When he could speak he asked for the loo. Danny took one look. "Right this way John. I'll just wait out here."  
John nodded. In the loo he went into the stall and sat on the toilet. He didn't really need to use the facilities but he just sat and caught his breath. After a few moments he was feeling steadier on his feet. He flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash his hands. Looking in the mirror he checked that he didn't look upset. He went back out and Danny had moved his drink to the table closest to the back hallway. He sat sipping his drink waiting patiently. John sat down opposite Danny and raised his glass.  
"Sorry, but thanks for that by the way."   
"For what?" Danny looked quizzically at his friend.   
John said in almost a whisper. "For Sherlock, the toast."  
Danny cocked his head and said softly, "I didn't have anything to do with it."  
"OK, really?"  
"Nothing! It was all Pete. Well I had mentioned I was dating you, so I suppose, they knew who you were. Last year when it all happened, we were following it. Actually a couple of years ago Hugh and Robert were homeless and they sort of worked for him. He was pretty decent to people less fortunate than himself."  
"Did you ever work for him?" John asked.  
Danny made a small noncommittal noise and said "No I never actually worked for him."  
John all of a sudden smelled the aroma of fish and chips, stronger now, and his stomach rumbled.  
"Lets me see if can get you something to eat." Danny said as he stood.   
"Order up," called out Spider.  
Danny went and retrieved the food, and came back. He sat down and before John could reach for the food, Danny's lips were pressed to John's. "I've missed you so much," murmured Danny.  
''I've missed you too.''  
They tucked into their food with gusto. The fish and chips were cooked to perfection. ''Mmm.'' John murmured with his mouth full of the fish. ''This is really good. So how long have you known Spider?''  
Danny chewed and swallowed. ''We go way back, primary school actually.''  
''Wow, so Eustace used to be your name? Did your parents hate you?''  
Danny smiled and laughed. ''No I don't think so. They just had a thing for weird family names. We are all named after relatives who died a long time ago.''  
John laughed “Really, what are your brothers’ names?''  
Danny had been drinking and all of a sudden he started coughing. He must have swallowed wrong and didn't seem to be able to stop coughing.  
''You OK Danny?''  
''Yeah, I'm OK now, So you said you were a pretty good snooker player, huh? How good?''  
''Well I'll just have to show you.''  
Danny was laughing again, ''bring it on old man.''  
''Oh I'll bring it. You just worry about how bad your ego is going to feel, after I beat your pants off you, child.'' They bantered back and forth, laughing the whole time.  
After finishing their meal and getting another round of pints, their table was open. Clive, Hugh, Robert, and Pete all came over to watch the match. Danny asked Clive to play referee, retrieving the potted balls, and keeping the score. Clive looked to be about thirty and like he probably worked out.   
Clive did a coin toss to determine who would go first. Danny won. Danny did pretty well scoring eighteen points in his first break. John's first break scored nineteen points. After that they paced each other until the frame ended with John five points ahead, making him the winner so far. Hugh, Robert and Pete were sitting on a bench attached to the wall by the table. John thought they were behaving oddly. They were watching intently and when Danny would miss a shot they would laugh or elbow each other. John decided to ignore it.   
John waggled his eyebrows at Danny and said, '' told you I was pretty good.''   
Danny replied, "I never doubted it." Clive set up the next frame, and this one Danny won by a handful of points. When they got to eight frames they were tied four frames each.  
The last frame was Danny's to start. He said, ''just a minute.'' His eyes were shining as he went over to John. He laid his cue stick on the table and took John's from his hands, and laid it next to his own. John was looking a little confused. ''Just remember how much you like me.'' Danny said as he reached up and took John's head in his hands and gave him a passionate kiss. John was startled at first, but after a few seconds kissed him back with equal fervour. The people who had gathered around whooped, whistled and made cat call noises. John didn't really hear them he was so engaged in the kiss. They finally parted, breathless. Danny's friends applauded and he took John's hand and bowed as if doing a curtain call on stage. John's face was a little red and he looked confused but he bowed slightly. John was surprised that kissing a man in front of his friends felt natural and OK. He felt it was a big step towards accepting his bisexuality.

Clive cleared his throat, and said loudly, ''if you gentlemen are ready, shall we continue?''  
"Yes, I think we are ready," Danny said as he readied himself to play their tie-breaking frame. Danny started by sinking a red ball, then the black, followed by red then the black again giving him the best score possible. John looked confused. Danny continued as he had been, sinking red then black until he had sunk seven of the fifteen red balls always followed by the black ball.   
John narrowed his eyes at Danny and said, "You wanker!" It was starting to dawn on John that he'd been hustled. "You arse!'' Danny grabbed his glass and lifted it in a mock toast.   
''You utter cock!'' John said with a smile, and Danny nodded.  
''You bloody tosser!" John threw insult after insult at Danny, but had a smile on his face the whole time.   
''Yup,'' Danny answered with a wink, and didn't miss one shot the whole frame. He ended with a perfect one hundred and forty five points. Danny's friends were clapping and cheering.   
Danny caught John's eye. He saw a glow of admiration in his eyes. "That ... was amazing."   
Danny with a gigantic smile on his face said, "You really think so."  
"It was extraordinary; it was quite extraordinary!"  
"Thank you! I'm sorry if I upset you."  
"No, it's OK. I'm not upset. I'm just a little.. um.. confused."  
"About?"  
"Why didn't you tell me you are an world class snooker player?"  
"I'm really not, but thank you." Danny looked at the floor, then looked up and met John's eyes. "I actually was going to let you win, but I have plans for us tomorrow. So I really needed to win. Besides I'm a little bit of a show off."  
Clive, Robert, Hugh, and Pete were all waiting to clap John on the back, and shake Danny's hand. Even Spider came over and told Danny he was a right wanker, and a rubbish boyfriend.  
''No he's fine, really. So everyone knew how good you are?"  
''Yes, I'm afraid so. I've been coming here since Spider opened the place.''  
The two men followed Spider back towards the bar, where there was a booth free close to the bar. John and Danny slid into one side.  
Spider retrieved a couple more pints and a soft drink for himself, telling the bartender on duty he was taking a break. He slid in on the opposite side.  
John said, ''How did you get so good at snooker?''  
Spider answered for Danny, “Oh, this one is a natural. His parents had a snooker table in their game room. It was spooky how he just took to the game.''  
''It's just physics,'' Danny offered.  
"Yeah, just physics? His whole family were a bunch of bloody geniuses."  
Danny blushed a little. John noticed that Spider's accent was a bit more public school. He guessed Spider came from money as well.  
"When I decided to open a pub here in London, I thought I'd put in a couple of snooker tables so this one could hustle people for extra cash," Spider said with a laugh.  
''To friends," John offered as a toast.  
''To friends," Spider and Danny echoed.  
''I should let you two lovebirds have your privacy," Spider said as he got up and left them alone.  
"He seems like a great friend," John offered.  
"Yes, he is. Like I said we've been friends forever. You wouldn't know it to look at him but he's been married since uni, well since he went to uni. He's got three beautiful daughters. The oldest, Penny is going to uni next year. I'm their godfather."  
"Wow, that's fantastic." John looked wistfully at Danny. "I wish sometimes I had kids or at least nieces and nephews. Life never turns out the way you think it will."  
Danny reached out and put his arms around John sensing he needed a hug. They kissed and hugged for several minutes. Hugh and Robert came over a few minutes later. Standing by the table Robert asked "Danny, can we join you for a minute?"  
''Sure.''  
Robert was a very tall broad blond man with pale skin. Hugh was slim and on the short side with dark skin, hair, and eyes. They both looked like they were in their late twenties. Hugh started to speak, ''Doctor Watson.''  
John interrupted, ''Please call me John.''  
''OK, John. Robert 'an me wanted to tell you that your friend Mr Holmes was an angel to us homeless. If it weren't for him I don't think we'd be alive.'' John nodded as they talked. ''He'd show up and give us something to do and a twenty pound note. He put many a hot meal in our bellies. Bless his soul. We'll leave you two alone, now but we just wanted to say our piece. Danny, John'' he nodded and said in farewell, as they got up and walked away.  
''It's nice of them to say that,''John said.  
''Most of the regulars here are a decent sort. I actually helped them both find jobs a while back. They've a place not too far from here, a tiny shoebox of a flat. They've been together for over ten years now.''  
It was then in dawned on John that Robert and Hugh were a couple. John was used to thinking of most people as straight. Unless people were acting in a way contrary to that, it was always his assumption. Even though he was dating a bloke, it still was a little hard not to see the world the way he always had. This date had opened his eyes. Danny had been sitting quietly watching him think. John suddenly realized he'd been lost in thought.  
He looked at Danny and explained that he thought this pub was fantastic. The acceptance here of everyone was brilliant. Sure there are gay bars but this had a different vibe. This was a working-class pub that accepted everyone.   
Danny agreed. Spider made sure that anyone who didn't agree didn't stay long.  
Danny told John about his plans for Sunday brunch with his friend Scottie. He had already set it up with his friend and John agreed. They spent to rest of the evening talking, and kissing, and just hanging out.  
The next day they met at Berners Tavern. When he arrived John was glad he looked the place up on the internet. While most taverns are rustic and rough this tavern was a very elegant restaurant in a posh hotel in the Fitzrovia neighbourhood of London. John wore his best suit jacket and even then felt under dressed. He thought Danny looked adorable in his jacket and tie. Scottie was running a couple of minutes late, so Danny and John were already there. Scottie was an older gentleman in his sixties, a stern grandfather type. He was tall with large distinctive blue eyes. As he approached Danny his face brightened up and his smile lit his eyes. He hugged Danny and stuck out his hand to John.  
"Hello," John offered. "Nice to meet you."  
The maitre d, seeing that their party was complete, came to seat them. He showed them to a table and gave them menus. Scottie said "I think we will all have the sirloin special." Looking to Danny and John for agreement. "We’ll also take a bottle of your finest red, please."  
John looked a little conflicted but Danny looked comfortable so he didn't say anything. Scottie seeing John's discomfort said, "My treat of course."  
"That's not necessary, "John interjected.  
"I insist, " Scottie said.   
John acquiesced.   
While waiting for their food, Scottie turned to John with a serious expression. ''So Doctor Watson I was wondering, what is the nature of your relationship with Danny?''  
Slightly shocked, ''Sorry, What?''  
''I believe you heard me, what are you to Danny? You were with Sherlock, as we have all heard. You publicized your adventures with the great detective, and now you are going out with young Danny here. What are you doing?''  
Danny's face had turned red and he bolted from his chair. He grabbed Scottie's arm looking desperate and dragged him from his seat. ''Scottie please can I talk to you?'' John sat in stunned silence while Danny dragged his friend towards to the gents sign. When they were out of earshot they stopped. Danny looked very stressed while having a very animated conversation. He almost looked on the verge of tears. John was getting concerned for his date. Suddenly Scottie put his hand on Danny's shoulder in a comforting gesture and the two started back towards the table.  
Scottie spoke first as they reclaimed their seats. ''My apologies for that. There was a minor misunderstanding on my part. Please do forgive me.''  
Although uneasy John hesitantly accepted his apology.  
Scottie started again, ''So tell me John how did you meet Danny?''  
Still feeling ill at ease, John detailed the story of how he met Danny. He was gradually able to relax as their conversation continued. Scottie seemed to have forgotten the whole thing. He seemed very happy telling of how he and Danny had met years ago. Their warm friendship through the years was almost a father/son relationship. He had helped Danny through some rough patches, and John surmised the misstep at first meeting was Scottie being protective of someone he cared for deeply.  
The food and wine were excellent and the three men ate and drank heartily. John again offered to contribute to the expense of the meal, but Scottie waved him away.  
As they were preparing to leave, Scottie gave Danny a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. He said softly, ''Danny, please think about what I said.''   
John heard him whispering, but didn't catch the words. As he shook Scottie's hand John said, ''I'm not sure what the problem was, but if you are thinking that I will break Danny's heart, don't worry. I care about him and I promise not to hurt him.''  
Scottie said ," That's very good of you but that wasn't the issue, just remember Danny is a good kid."   
John left the restaurant very confused.  
The afternoon was relatively warm and the sun was bright. John and Danny walked hand and hand towards nearby Regents Park. It felt good after the large meal to walk it off a bit. They walked in silence, each deep in their own thoughts. They had been walking for almost an hour, just wandering around. Danny stopped and sat as they were passing a bench. Looking earnestly at John, he said, "I'm sorry about that with Scottie."  
"Can you explain?"   
''I could but you won't like it.''  
''OK Danny. Do you want to tell me?''  
''No... yes...I don't know... I will but not right now.'' Danny looked desperate.  
''OK is it something I should know?''  
''Probably. I will tell you but please give me some time.''  
OK let me ask you two questions, and promise me to answer them truthfully. If you do that I will drop it.''  
''OK. Ask.'' Danny looked like he was filled with dread.   
''Hey listen if you don't want to.''  
''No, go ahead, I'll answer your questions.'' The grim look on Danny's face made John pause.  
''One,'' John said, ''Does it involve illegal activity at all? Because you know I'm good friends with DI Lestrade at Scotland Yard.''  
Danny looked somewhat relieved. ''No, it has nothing to do with anything illegal.'' He let out a big sigh.  
''OK, good, that's good. Question two,'' John said,'' do you have an infectious disease I should know about like, HIV, Hep C, or herpes?''  
Danny let out his breath, ''No, no nothing like that.'' He looked very relieved.  
''OK, then we will drop it.'' John said with a tone of finality.  
He was very pleased it wasn't either of these issues, that were causing the problem. What was the secret? He would have to trust Danny. One thing John was certain of, he didn't like being in the dark.  
Danny closed the distance between them and kissed John. This was more like it. Danny was an excellent kisser.


	4. A Bond Film and Rugby at a pub

John and Danny decided to do dinner and a film at John's flat on Friday night. Monday, the day after their brunch with Scottie, was Guy Fawkes Day. Danny was going to a bonfire with his flatmates and invited John to come but he had to work at the clinic late that day, and early the next morning. Danny texted him from the festivities.  
Hello Sweetie~D  
thought you were going to the bonfire~JW  
there now~D  
good?~JW  
ok~D   
miss you~D  
out of work yet~D  
just got out work early tomorrow.~JW  
There was a pause of five minutes.  
ok~D  
problem~JW  
come to the bonfire~D  
can’t~JW  
please~D  
no have to work early~JW  
Yeah you said~D  
Danny’s phone rang.  
“Danny, Danny” John yelled into his mobile. He was almost deafened by the noise where Danny was. “Can you get to somewhere quiet?”  
“I’ll try.”  
John hung up and the phone was silent for a few minutes. When it rang John picked up immediately. “Are you OK?”  
“Yes, I guess. I just missed you.”  
“Listen, Danny I said I won’t judge about whatever is going on with you until I know what it is.”  
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”  
“Danny,” John said gently, “I don’t know what the problem is but I really like you. You are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. Whatever your problem is I’ll help you with it.”  
John had been thinking about the conversation from the day before. He had another guess about Danny’s problem. It might be about money. Depending on the specifics, if Danny needed money he might help him out. He had saved several thousand pounds so far. When he started saving, he had thought of spending it on rehab for Harry. He had contacted her during the summer and she had hung up on him when he suggested it.  
You can’t help a person who doesn’t want help. If Danny needed money he could make him a loan. He could have papers drawn up to make it legal.  
“Danny do you need money?”  
“No why? Oh, it’s not money. I don’t need money.”  
John was able to reassure Danny he was looking forward to the weekend and to seeing him.  
The next few days they talked on the phone at least once daily for an hour. John kept reassuring Danny. Wednesday, they talked for three hours before John ended up falling asleep. Danny ended up hanging up a few minutes later. John woke up the next morning with a dead mobile cradled in his hand. By Friday they were both eager to see each other.   
John knew he made a great aubergine parmesan dish that was well received every time he cooked it. Even Sherlock was tempted by it, and would eat an average size portion without an excess of drama or histrionics. He had a loaf of fresh crusty bread, some spread for it that was herb based rather than garlic. He had also picked up a bottle of a recommended dry red wine. It was a little pricey but the salesman assured him it was the very best wine to go with his aubergine dish. John had got out of work early to prepare dinner. While he cooked he thought about Danny and his ''situation'' whatever it was.  
John felt conflicted about having a hot younger man that he was dating come to his flat. So far all their dates had been in public areas. Getting Danny alone in his flat with his bed unoccupied mere metres from where they would be sitting would be enormously tempting. And they really didn't even need a bed. They could do it right on the sofa, or on either of his lounge chairs or on the kitchen table, or on the floor, or up against any of the multiple walls for that matter. He pondered if he should just go ahead and shag his very attractive friend. He really liked Danny. He was fun to be around, smart, and had a great sense of humour. He made John feel younger, and that was a great feeling. To have such an attractive young man to squire around made him stand a little taller. Danny was probably enthusiastic in bed as well. He liked to have a partner that he could laugh with in bed and out. There were so many reasons he should just go ahead and fuck him. No, he amended mentally, make love to him.   
There were only two real reason he wasn't going to have sex with Danny. He still loved Sherlock. Also there was Danny’s secret, and even that wasn’t that much of a determent. No, the only real reason was he was still in love with Sherlock. When he had visited Sherlock's grave he had pleaded and begged Sherlock to not be dead. It was irrational to expect a miracle, but if anyone could do it, it would be his former flatmate. Was he barmy? John decided he must be. Even if Sherlock somehow came back there was no reason for him to believe that the situation would be different than it was before. He had decided that Sherlock had been asexual despite his flirting with Irene Adler. Mycroft had said that Sherlock had cared very deeply for him. He gave him their flat after all. Would Sherlock have physical relationships with him if he came back? While John pondered impossible scenarios he burned himself twice. He needed to concentrate. It was all fantasy after all, thinking of Sherlock. Dead is dead, isn't it? He decided to stop wool gathering and pay attention to his cooking.  
John's phone chimed.  
Hello Sweetie. Should I bring anything tonight?~D  
John typed Just your hot little body, then deleted it.  
No need just yourself~JW  
Wine anything?~D  
Nope I got it all covered~JW  
How do you feel about Bond?~JW  
Daniel Craig is yummy~D  
Seen Quantum of Solace?~JW  
yup, loved it except Q's not in that one~D  
love the gadgets :-)~D  
Me too Gotta keep moving~JW  
See you in an hour~D  
About an hour later John heard a knock on his door. He answered it and Danny stood on his doormat. John opened the door and let his friend in. He encircled the other man in his arms. Tight hugs and quick kisses were exchanged.   
John noticed Danny's usual smell of coconut, leather, spice, and what he now thought of as just Danny. He had meant to ask about the other man’s aftershave. He found it incredibility alluring. “I’ve noticed your aftershave or cologne, what is it?”   
Danny smiled slyly. “I don’t wear any. Well I have been using cheap coconut shampoo, but besides that I use unscented products. I dated someone once who was allergic to perfumes so I started using scent free products. The guy left but my use of odorless products stuck. I don’t like many perfumes.”  
“Well you smell delicious,” John admitted.  
“Dinner smells delicious,” Danny replied.  
“Thank you,” John replied reflexively. “Dinner should be out in less than fifteen minutes. Would like to open the wine? It has a cork, and everything.”  
“Oh, we went for the classy stuff this time,” Danny joked back. The wine was opened and poured.  
John pulled the tossed salad from the refrigerator. What kind of salad dressing do you want?” John asked still looking inside.  
“Any kind is fine,” Danny said.  
“What’s your favourite?”  
“I like just about any kind. What do you have?”  
John looked sheepish, “I bought eight different kinds, Blue cheese, Italian, buttermilk ranch, basil pesto, French, 2 kinds of balsamic vinaigrettes, and Heinz Salad Cream. I didn’t know what you would want.”  
“I like blue cheese the best, thank you.” Danny let out a small laugh “It was really important to you.”  
“Yes, I guess it was,” John said as he pulled Danny into another hug. They stood by the table with their arms around each other, their chins resting on each other’s shoulder. John felt so comfortable like this. Even after such a short acquaintance Danny’s hugs felt like being home.  
The oven timer went off. John pulled the baked dish from the oven. They sat at the table and ate the meal. Danny raved about the food, as they drank, ate and laughed.   
Afterwards they did the washing up together. With the dishes back in the cupboards, they want into the sitting room. John put the DVD in the player and started their James Bond film ‘Quantum of Solace’. The two men sat and enjoyed the testosterone fueled film.  
John had watched this same DVD with Sherlock. Sherlock was all smart arse comments, sarcasm, and pointing out incorrect facts. ‘That would never happen. John, cars in Bolivia are required to have both front and rear plates. That looks nothing like Bolivia’s desert.’ And John’s favorite, ‘That is so wrong John! That grappling hook was not attached to anything. The end is just lying in Bond's boat. There is no way that would pull that other boat back allowing them to escape. The film should have ended right then, putting an end to James Bond and his awful films.’ John wasn’t sure which one he preferred.   
As the classic Bond music came on at the end, they turned to each other. Their eyes met in the darkened room and they held each other’s gaze. John moved first. His lips just grazing Danny’s before they moved on. He let his lips travel over Danny’s carotid, feeling the rapid pulse there. When John nibbled on Danny’s earlobe they both groaned.   
Danny ran his hands over John’s jumper clad chest. “We could get more comfortable. Would you like to take this off?” Danny asked a little breathlessly. They pulled away from each other enough to slip their jumpers over their heads leaving them naked from the waist up. They embraced again. “Is this OK?” Danny asked softly.  
A look of panic crossed John’s face, as he pulled back. He put his head in his hands. “John, Are you OK?”  
John breathed deeply and said, ”Yeah, I guess I’m OK,” his cheeks colouring pink. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot and I’d really like to wait until we are both sure we want to have a serious relationship with each other. I really like you. I know you probably think I’m a nutter.” Danny shook his head no. Then John got a brighter look on his face. “I’ve got an idea. Would you like a massage?”  
John went into his bedroom and retrieved several items. He put some soft music on and checked the temperature of the room and put it up a little. He brought a chair from the kitchen and placed it right next to the couch touching it. He draped a thick fluffy beach towel over the back of the chair. While in the bedroom John had taken his trousers off and put some sweat pants on. ''Here Danny sit down on the chair, backwards.''  
Danny did as John asked straddling the chair, and leaned slightly forward. They were both still shirtless. John sat down behind Danny and brought his legs in and pressed his knees into Danny's hips connecting them. He poured a generous amount of some massage oil into one hand, and rubbed his hands vigorously together. The oil smelled of sweet almonds, spices, and vanilla. ''Tell me if any spot is uncomfortable or bothers you, or if you want me to stop.'' Danny nodded.  
While in medical school John had taken a short course on sensual massage. The girl he was dating at the time was interested in tantric massage/sex. John was into anything that involved sex. He had enjoyed the class and was getting the highest marks. He was even invited for private advanced work with the instructor. The instructor was a beautiful young woman with lovely cocoa colored skin. The contrast of John's golden skin with the instructor’s dark hands rubbing and bringing him to orgasm was exquisite. The girlfriend lasted about a month then dropped the class. The instructor and he lasted until the next class started and there was a new best student. John's interest in massage lasted through his time in the army, to the present day. It was a way to take care of his buddies in Afghanistan. If his pants occasionally got a little tight when he gave a massage to a handsome G.I. it was no one’s business. He would have loved to help Sherlock with his tension and see how it would have been to connect with his former flatmate.   
John started with a light pressure on Danny’s neck first. John leaned over him and kissed the back of his neck pressing his chest into the other man's back, connecting them at another point. He was implementing more kissing than he had with his military buddies. Then he straightened up and poured a little more oil into his hand, warmed it and set to work again. Danny let out a groan. John worked each muscle group in turn. Using a slow, even rhythm, his fingers and thumbs rubbed around the tops of Danny’s shoulders. Danny groaned again softly, “that feels so great.”  
He swept back down to the base of his spine with a few long, smooth strokes kissing the vertebrae as he went. He used a kneading motion to lightly work the skin around the back and shoulder muscles. John then used the pads of his fingers to massage the tops of Danny’s shoulders, around the sides of his neck and up to the base of his skull.   
All the tension in Danny’s shoulders worked out, John moved on to his upper arms. He stroked and rubbed the muscles there. Danny’s muscles were tight as John worked the knots out.   
Besides his hands John pressed his chest and forearms against Danny’s back giving as much contact as he could. John’s kisses were firm and he randomly alternated them with his hands, cheeks, chest and forearms. The sensual connection between the two men was amazing.   
John finally spoke again. “How are you doing?”  
Danny moaned again, “Just wonderful.”  
John leaned forward and draped himself over Danny’s back. They relaxed there for several minutes. John finally let out a sigh and sat back. “We should probably call it a night.”  
Danny sighed and sounded tired. “Are we going to the pub to watch rugby tomorrow?”  
“Sure, sounds good.” Danny had to work a half shift the next day. They had discussed going to a pub to watch a rugby match. Greg Lestrade had invited John to his regular watering hole to see this very, anticipated match. That had been before he met Danny. John thought it might be fun to see Greg’s reaction to his very gorgeous boyfriend. He didn’t think it would be a problem to show Danny off. Danny hadn’t seemed to mind being shown off.  
“Would you like to take some of the leftovers for lunch.” John asked.  
“Oh that would be nice. When I eat lunch tomorrow, I’ll be thinking of you,” Danny said with a wink.  
“You better be thinking of me.”  
John had put most of the leftover aubergine bake into a plastic container.  
Danny had put his jumper back on and then his jacket. John met him by the door and gave Danny the plastic container.  
They kissed. At first it was fairly chaste. As they stood there kissing it became more heated. John was naked to the waist, and Danny was in his jacket holding his lunch for tomorrow. After ten minutes Danny said, “I have to leave.”  
About ten minutes after that John said, “I thought you were leaving.”  
Danny murmured, “I’m going,” yet he made no motions toward the door.  
“Goodbye,” John said.  
“Goodbye,” but they continued kissing. Ten minutes after that Danny said, “I really have to get up early tomorrow morning.”  
“Yeah, you should go.”  
“Yes, I should.”  
“Goodnight.”  
“Goodnight.”  
After they had been standing by John’s door saying good night and snogging each other breathless for almost an hour and a half, John finally pushed away from Danny. “If you don’t go now, I’m going to drag you into my bedroom and ravage you. Although I’d love to do it we decided we were not going to do that yet.” John looked very sad, but resigned.  
Danny nodded in agreement. Reluctantly he finally left. John closed the door and put his back to it. Then he hit the back of his head several times into the door. “What am I doing?” He asked the empty room.  
Across the city in his office, Mycroft Holmes took his headphones off and he swiped his hands over his face, shook his head and sighed loudly. He poured himself another two fingers of scotch and downed it. “Oh John, you have no idea,” he said to the empty room around him.  
John woke at six am Saturday morning. He rolled over deciding to have a little lie in that morning.   
Shortly after falling asleep again, he started dreaming. At first he was in 221B alone, and then Danny was there. They started kissing and it quickly became passionate. Then as dreams often do everything changed. They were in a big soft bed with luxurious sheets. The bed appeared to be in Sherlock's old bedroom. The periodic table on the wall, and the baritsu certificate were obvious. He and Danny were exploring each others bodies with gentle caresses and tender kisses. Nibbling and tasting as John suddenly realized they were naked. As he explored Danny’s body he was getting very aroused and so was his partner. John reached down and put his fingers around both cocks as much as he could. Danny did the same thing, and between them they could encircle both penises. Their joined hands skimmed over velvety smooth skin, caresses were given and returned, deep kisses exchanged. Then suddenly he wasn't with Danny but with Sherlock. Sherlock was alive in his arms and they were making love to each other. John's heart soared. He had longed to see his former flatmate and now here he was.  
"Sherlock, where have you been?" John implored. "I have missed you so much!''  
Sherlock said gently,'' John I'm here. I never told you that without you I would have been lost. You were the only person I've ever loved.'' Then he said ''I will always love you.'' To John his voice sounded off. He sounded more like Danny. John looked back into Sherlock's beautiful eyes and suddenly they changed to Danny's green eyes. John panicked.  
''Sherlock! Sherlock! Where are you?''  
Danny looked hurt, “It's me, John, it's Danny,'' he said. Then he turned away. ''You don't want me! You want him,'' He said with sadness and finality. ''Goodbye John.''  
He faded until there was no one there. John was alone again. Alone and searching for someone, he just wasn't sure who.  
John awoke in his own bed feeling desolate.  
When John finally got out of bed he decided to do some food shopping and run a couple of errands before his date that afternoon. He and Danny had made tentative plans to meet Lestrade to watch rugby. Just before noon his mobile rang. Thinking it was probably Danny he picked it up and said ''Hello sweetie.''  
''Well hello to you too,'' came the gruff voice of Greg Lestrade.  
Back pedaling John sputtered out, ''I thought you were someone else.''  
''Obviously,'' Greg continued with a laugh, ''I was wondering if you were still interested in catching a rugby match this afternoon?" They had discussed this the last time they had seen each. "It's supposed to be a good one, England v Fiji."  
John knew that the match was supposed to be a good one. The venue Twickenham Stadium was sold out. ''Well I have a date, but we talked about us all going together'' John said.   
''She's into watching rugby at a pub with your mates?''Lestrade sounded very surprised.   
''I discussed it with him,'' emphasizing the him.  
''Now you have to come and bring him along you sly dog.'' They made plans to meet at 14:00 at the pub.  
At ten minutes to two John stood outside the agreed upon location. His mobile rang. It was the Greg. He had been called in to work. Just as John rang off he saw Danny in the distance walking towards him. John couldn't help the broad smile that was on his face when their eyes met. When Danny got close John closed the distance. ''Hello sweetie.'' John said as he pulled Danny into a hug and gave him a quick chaste kiss. ''My mate Lestrade had to cancel, a murder or something came up.''  
''Well that was rude. Imagine someone being inconsiderate enough to be murdered when New Scotland Yard's best DI had plans to watch rugby.'' Danny said sarcastically.  
This made John laugh, which made Danny laugh.  
John remembered he had told his friend about Sherlock and the times they had laughed at crime scenes. He thought, 'I love this man.'   
''Wait we shouldn't be laughing.''   
''Yeah I know. Shall we?'' John said gesturing at the door.  
They entered the pub, arm in arm still laughing.  
The game was brilliant. It was the first match in the autumn international campaign. England was sure to win but watching in a pub with fish and chips and beer was exhilarating. England decimated the other team with a 54-12 win over Fiji.  
Both John and Danny imbibed freely and were more than a little pissed by the time the game was over. They were both in a very energetic mood.  
''You told me you like to dance. What do you say we find a dance club and you show me your best moves.'' John teased good naturedly.   
''You are on!'' So the two left the pub in search of a dance club. Minutes later they were in a bar with a DJ, playing loud thumping dance music. John was older than the majority of the patrons by at least ten years, but that didn't stop him. He and Danny went straight to the dance floor. There was an energetic song on and they reveled in the rhythmic moves that overtook their bodies. John knew he wasn't a bad dancer when he let himself go. Danny proved to be even better than John of course. They danced for at least thirty minutes before a slower song came on. Danny reached out and grabbed John and pulled him in close. Being evenly matched in height they fit together nicely. They swayed together back and forth holding each other tightly. It was very romantic despite their state of inebriation and the club being at almost capacity. As they stared into each other’s eyes they were drawn to each other. Their lips met as their eyes closed. The kiss deepened quickly. The two men went on passionately kissing until a faster song came on. Around them the other dancers started their gyrations again. John grabbed Danny's hand and pulled him towards the back of the club. The facilities were surprisingly less crowded than expected. John roughly shoved Danny through the door of the largest stall. The look on the John's face was intense. Danny raised his eyebrows in question but John didn't notice. The door banged shut making the metal stall shake. John pushed Danny against the wall hard. Danny's head hit it with a thunk. His lips again attacked Danny's with fervor. John pushed one leg between the other man's legs. He thrust against Danny several times grinding their penises together. John was attacking Danny's neck with his teeth when Danny said softly, ''John?''  
That soft utterance stopped him in his tracks. John's face was a mask of horror. He turned and fled from the room.  
The cool air hit John in the face. It had a sobering effect. He walked down the pavement away from the crowd by the door. When he felt clear of other people, he bent at the waist, staring down at the debris by his feet and taking deep gulps of the fresh air. He stood like that for a while until a pair of feet stopped in his field of vision. He felt a slight nudge.  
''Hello Sweetie, you come here often?'' Danny said lightly. After a minute he asked, ''You OK?''  
John looked up, embarrassment written all over his face. Danny was smiling. ''It's OK John.'' John couldn't look him in the eyes so he returned to examining his feet. Danny reached out his hand and put it on John's arm.  
They stood there in silence for several minutes just breathing in the night air.  
Finally John looked up again and said, ''Sorry about that, I think I need to call it a night.''  
When he looked at the Danny he saw patience and affection. ''Thanks.''  
Danny looked around himself getting his bearings. ''I think the tube is that way,'' he said pointing further down the street. He grasped John's hand and pulled on him gently. They walked hand in hand towards the underground station.


	5. Sunday at the street Market

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Lazy Sunday with Danny and John. And Danny is not adorable!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, for the delay and such a short chapter. Life happens. Next one won't be so delayed.

The next day was Sunday. John and Danny did not have plans to do anything. He had not showered or done anything (except contemplate having a wank). He actually had made it as far as the kitchen, brewed himself a cuppa, made toast with jam, retrieved the morning paper and went back to his bed, crumbs be damned. That was at about ten AM.  
He was mildly distracted by a marathon of documentaries on the telly, all of which seemed to be about animals. He was only partially watching while he relaxed in bed thinking about Sherlock. He never did this when he lived with Sherlock. There was always a reason to get out of bed. If there were no cases on, he would at least have his blog to update, or try to tempt Sherlock to eat with some tasty food. Sherlock had monopolized his life. Quite right too. Without Sherlock, his life seemed anemic and pale. About noon he clicked off the TV and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. There was nothing to motivate him to get out of bed.   
Suddenly John’s text alert sounded.

Hello, Sweetie ~D  
Hey ~JW   
What you doing? ~D  
Nothing, why? ~JW  
Would you like take away Chinese my treat ~D  
Sounds good ~JW  
When and where? ~JW  
Fifteen minutes your place ~D  
Ok ~JW

“Oh shit!” he exclaimed as his feet hit the floor. He showered and did the necessary. He skipped shaving but wasn’t going to worry about that. He threw the bed together in a semblance of order. He glanced around his flat and hurriedly straightened anything that was out of place. He unlocked the door and ran back into the loo to run a brush through his wet hair. He was brushing his teeth when the bell rang. He yelled at the door, “Come in.”  
Danny opened the door and came in with bags of take away.   
“Hello Sweetie,” Danny said with a wide smile as John came out of the bathroom. John smiled back at him broadly.  
“So, Chinese?” John grabbed the bags and carried them into the kitchen. After setting them down he turned around and encircled Danny in his arms. Danny relaxed into John’s embrace.   
Danny let out a half moan, half exclamation, “Oh. This feels so great. I missed you.”  
“We were together yesterday.”   
“I know, but I really love being here. “ Danny motioned to John’s arms and vicinity. “Being hugged by you… It just feels right.”  
“Yes, I really like it too,” John sighed. He kissed Danny. “I’m glad you are here.”  
“Are you really, I was a little worried about just coming over with a half hour notice.”  
“Fifteen minutes,” John corrected.  
“Fifteen minutes,” Danny looked uncomfortable, “Yeah sorry about that.”  
“It’s OK; I didn’t really have any plans. Well, more than having a wank.” John suddenly wished the floor would open up and swallow him. “A wash… I meant a wash… I… sorry… Just sorry,” he stuttered, terribly embarrassed, hanging his head.  
Danny let out a snort of laughter. “That’s perfectly fine. Don’t let me interrupt. Just go right ahead and have your wank, I'll just watch, shall I?”  
“You cheeky bastard.'' John said but there was no heat in his voice. Turning his attention to the food, John emptied the bag onto the table. After that, he put the kettle on and got two mugs from the cupboard asking, ''Tea?''  
''Yes please.''  
As they sat at the table, Danny smiled slyly at John, in fact, he hadn't stopped since he came in. They decided to eat out of the cartons. John got out chopsticks and sat down while the water was heating. John nodded at the cartons. “I got chicken fried rice and chicken with noodles. Danny started to pick noodles out of his box of lo-mein. "I love your smile," John said. "The way your eyes crinkle almost shut when you are happy. It's adorable. You're adorable."  
"I'm not adorable! Don't call me that!" Danny complained but was still smiling.  
"Yes, you are. You are so adorable."  
"I. Am. Not. Adorable!" Danny raised his voice. "I'm a manly man. Manly men are not adorable! I have facial hair and everything. I...I... OK maybe I'm not a manly man, but I'm not adorable!"  
John, grinning ear to ear said in a sing-song voice. "Adorable."  
Still smiling Danny said softly, "Maybe I'm cute but never adorable." Then even softer, "I think you are adorable too."  
"Touché," John said raising his mug. "So what did you have in mind for this afternoon?"

"I'm open to suggestions. What do you do Sunday afternoons?"  
"Honestly, I often go to visit Sherlock," John said gazing into the distance not looking at anything. ''Not exactly a date activity."  
"John, we can if you want."  
"No, I don't think so, not today." John looked very sad. "Actually, the twentieth, next Tuesday, is the one year anniversary. I plan on going then."  
Danny reached across the table and gently grasped John's wrist. "Would you like me to come with you?"   
John's eyes were full of unshed tears. "Would you?"  
"Of course. If you want me to."  
''That might be nice,'' John said in a choked voice. Abruptly John turned away from Danny, stood, and left the table. He retreated to the loo.   
Ten minutes later John returned to the kitchen. ''Sorry about that.''  
''Perfectly fine, no need to apologize.''  
They ate in silence. ''OK,'' John finally said, ''What would you like to do this afternoon?''  
Danny looked thoughtful. ''It's is actually a lovely day outside. Would you like to go for a walk? Maybe stop at a street market.''  
John smiled broadly. ''Sounds wonderful.''  
They left John's flat and hand in hand, headed for Spitalfield’s market. It was John's favourite street market. He could always count on finding a little something to buy. The arts and crafts stalls often had one of a kind items. Mrs. Hudson favoured little trinkets like these, so John often picked up something to delight her. He had once found a tiny detailed kitten sculpture, no bigger than his little finger nail and given it to Molly Hooper. She had adored it.   
Today John thought maybe he would look for a new wallet. The one currently in his back pocket had seen better days. Sometimes on hot humid days in the summer it would smell like the Thames River. Rightly so too. A week before Sherlock jumped… it was still hard for John to think it even to himself… jumped off of Bart’s, John had ended up in the river. He and Sherlock had been chasing a suspect on foot. The chase led to the docks where a getaway boat was moored. As the boat sped away from the dock, Sherlock, the long legged git, jumped gracefully, like a gazelle, onto the deck of the moving boat. John took a mighty leap but of course, being behind Sherlock, and having a shorter stature, he ended up in the river. In the end, they had gotten the suspect, but John’s boots had been a casualty. His wallet had been brand new. He really didn’t want to throw that away as well, so he dried it out, and used it ever since. Maybe he would wait longer, after all, it was mostly a problem in the summer. It wasn’t for sentimental reasons or anything he told himself.  
John really didn’t need anything. He was perfectly happy to wander aimlessly through street market holding hands with Danny.   
They had been wandering around browsing for two hours when John heard someone say, “John Watson.” John turned to see Mike Stamford and his wife standing about three feet away. Mike had his hands full of several large bags. Mike’s wife was a beautiful petite dark skinned woman who also had her hands full though in her case it was due to a small baby in a carrier strapped to her upper body. The three of them had been friends at Bart's while working on becoming physicians. Mike had gone on to become an instructor in general medicine, while Meena was the head of the paediatric ICU ward at Kings College Hospital.   
The three of them had been friends at Bart's while working on becoming physicians. Mike had gone on to become an instructor in general medicine, while Meena was the head of the paediatric ICU ward at The Harley Street Clinic.   
''Mike, Mena, hello!'' John reached out a hand to shake Mike's hand as he shifted all the bags to his left hand. Then he stepped up to Meena awkwardly kissing her on each cheek being careful not squash the newborn. ''This must be little Oliver, congratulations. This is my very good friend, Danny Holt. Danny, Mike and Meena Stamford. I went medical school with them.'' Danny shook hands with them.   
''Lovely to meet you,'' Danny greeted them. Mike turned to John, ''We were just headed back to the car to drop these off. Then we were going for a cuppa. Would you like to join us?"  
John glanced over at Danny and nodded his head. "Sure, would you like a hand with those?''  
“Thanks,'' Mike said as he handed two of the bags to John. "Our car is right over there," pointing a little way down the street. "Meena, why don't you and Danny get us a table inside?" he said nodding at a close tea shop.  
When they got to the car Mike turned and raised his eyebrow to John. "You sure do like the pretty ones," he said with a chuckle. John blushed furiously. "Good on you, mate," he said putting his hand on John's shoulder. "Good on you."  
Arriving back at the tea shop, Danny and Meena were seated near the rear by the counter. John and Mike ordered the drinks, while Meena went to the ladies to change Oliver's nappy. Soon they were seated around the small table listening to Mike tell stories about being a new father, while Meena fed the baby. Meena asked how John was enjoying his new job, and he explained how Mycroft had set this whole situation up. "I always thought Sherlock's brother was a bit of an arse, but it seems he did have a heart after all. It's almost as if he thought my depression reflected poorly on Sherlock, which in turn reflected poorly on him."  
Danny looked like he was deep in thought. "You really are a good doctor, maybe he just recognized that fact, and thought you were a good fit for the position."  
John looked a little surprised at that. "You don't know Mycroft. I don't think there is an altruistic bone in his body!" Danny shook his head  
Danny shook his head, "I suppose."  
Meena changed the subject. "Would you and Danny like to come for dinner around the holidays? We'd love to have you over."  
"That would be nice. "John said and Danny nodded.  
"Great, we must get going, but it was lovely meeting you, Danny," Mike said as he rose from the table.  
"Yes, it was nice meeting you both. Oliver is a handsome boy." Danny said as they all donned their coats.   
"Thank you." Mike and Meena said in unison.  
They all shook hands and left the shop. John reached over and grabbed Danny's wrist. He pulled Danny into a tight hug. Whispering into Danny's ear John said, "You are making me fall in love with you, you gorgeous man." Then John pulled the earlobe, so close to his lips, into his mouth and gently nipped it with his teeth.  
Danny let out a small startled noise and leaned more heavily into John's arms. "I'm so sorry," he said almost too soft to be heard. They stood, just hugging, close to the building, out of the path of the other shoppers.   
John sighed deeply and pulled back so he could look into Danny's eyes. "It's getting late. I should be getting home."  
Danny nodded. "Yes, probably. So when can we get together again?" He said with a big sigh as he snuggled closer to John.  
"This week is pretty busy." John said causing Danny to frown. "What about the weekend?"  
"Would you be able to come to my flat next Friday evening?" Danny asked.  
"I'd love to. We can talk every day, multiple times if you want. It will be Friday before you know it." John reassured Danny.


	6. Take away at Danny's Flat Friday evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and John really need to learn to communicate.

Friday evening after work, John met Danny at a takeaway place near Danny's flat. They walked to Danny's building carrying dinner.  
''Mr Holt, Mr Holt!'' An agitated voice called out as Danny pushed the door to his building open. A boy of probably eight years old stood at the base of a flight of stairs. He had a very worried look on his face with dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Danny handed the take-away bags he had been carrying to John and hurried towards the lad.  
''Phillip, what is it? What's the matter?'' Worry now creased Danny's face as well.  
Phillip threw himself into Danny's out-stretched arms. ''It's the puppies! One of them is lost!'' He was able to blurt out before he dissolved into tears, in the man's arms. ''OK, Phillip this is my friend Doctor John Watson,'' Danny introduced John. ''As you know he was the best friend and blogger of the great consulting detective Sherlock Holmes. I bet with his help we will be able to find your lost puppy.'' The boy turned towards John with eyes like saucers, still full of tears. ''Are you really him?''he asked sniffling. ''Are you really truly him?'' The child looked awestruck.  
''Yes, I am indeed'' John said feeling prouder about saying that than he had in some time. ''Lets see if we can find that lost puppy.'' The boy led them to a flat down the hallway. He opened the door and a large Irish Setter let out one deep woof. She was obviously the mother to the missing puppy. It was evident that she had been nursing puppies. She approached the intruders with her tail sweeping back and forth slowly. She sniffed Danny first, then John, then the takeout bags in John's arms. Danny reached down and scratched her head lightly.  
''Hey girl, how we doing? Did we lose one of our pups?'' Danny addressed the dog.  
The flat was a small one. There was a room off to the right that seemed to be a kitchen. It had a low fence across the doorway. The fence was low enough that the adult dog could easily traverse it but still keep any small pups corralled. Danny, John, and Phillip easily stepped over the small gate into the kitchen area. There was a pile of puppies in one corner on a rug. The dog went over and laid down. The puppies clambered over the mother and each other to find a teat. The puppies looked to be mobile but indeed could have not got far.  
John turned to the boy. ''When we needed to solve a mystery we would interview the client. Since I can't interview your dog, I'll ask you. Phillip when did you realize there was a puppy missing?''  
Phillip straightened up obviously enjoying that John was treating him like an adult. He started to tell his story. It didn’t take long to work out what had happened.  
It turned out there was a hole in the wall in the back of the pantry closet. It was by the baseboard, very close to the floorboards. When Phillip had opened the pantry door to get the puppy food out he had left the door open. His mum had warned him about the hole but he had forgotten. The hole was just big enough that the puppy could wiggle through it. From the hole they could hear the puppy making whimpering sounds. This was where the missing puppy had gone. John crouched and down crawled into the back of the closet. He was just able to stick his arm into the hole and catch hold of the wayward pup's collar. After the pup was returned to his littermates, Phillip was very relieved looking. His eyes were bright with unshed tears. He thanked John over and over.   
Just as they were getting ready to leave, there was the sound of the flat door opening. Phillip ran to the door. "Mum, mum, you'll never guess what happened!" he said excitedly. "One of the puppies got lost and it crawled into the hole in the pantry and I tried to reach it but I couldn't and then John Watson came and rescued it." It came out all in one breath.   
Phillip's mother was a curvy short ginger young woman. She made her way into the kitchen. "Doctor Watson, hello. I'm Penny, it's so nice to finally meet you,''she said as she stuck out her hand. Then she added, ''thank you so much.''  
"Nice to meet you. Penny, call me John. You should have your landlord fix that hole. " Penny looked over to Danny and they shared a conspiratorial smile.   
"Yes it would be nice, but it takes days to get the heating fixed," Danny volunteered. Then Danny stopped, a look of inspiration crossing his face. They were standing in the hallway. Danny nodded towards an empty pizza box in a bin by the door. "I have a staple gun upstairs. I'll be right back."  
John nodded in understanding as Danny rushed out the door. John took the pizza box, and removed the cover. He then went back into the pantry cupboard. The top of the box fit over the hole in the wall. It slid between the wall and the baseboard. Danny returned with the staple gun. John used it to attach the box to the wall. "There we go. You won't lose anymore puppies; at least not in that hole."  
Penny looked back and forth between the men. "Thank you so much. You guys are so awesome together," she said with a broad smile and then she winked. She turned to John, "I just want to say I always believed in Sherlock Holmes. I never believed the stories in the news about that Richard Brooke character. That bitch Kitty Riley is a liar."  
John ducked his head. "Thanks for that."  
John and Danny retrieved the take away and were finally able to ascend the stairs. As they climbed the stairs John said, ''They seem really nice.''  
'Yes,'' Danny agreed. ''I sometimes babysit Philip when Penny has to be out late. They are good people. I help them out when I can. They've said I can have one of the pups. I've always liked Irish setters, we had one when I was little.''  
Danny opened the door to his flat and motioned John towards the kitchen. ''I'll put on some music.''' Danny said. ''Do you like classical?''  
John went to the kitchen. ''Sure, would you like me to put the kettle on?'' asked John as he deposited the food bags on the counter.  
The sounds of classical music drifted into the kitchen from the sitting room. John plugged the kettle in and started emptying the bags on to the counter. Danny opened the microwave and put the egg rolls in to reheat. ''Would you like to set the table?''  
''No problem.'' John opens several cupboard doors to find plates, and placed two opposite each other on the kitchen table. Next he went in search of mugs for tea. ''I think Penny fancies you Danny.''  
Danny stopped in the middle of opening the take away cartons, and turned toward John. ''Why would you think that?'' Danny said in surprise.  
''Oh don't play coy, I saw that wink she gave you.'' He said while rummaging in a drawer for chopsticks.   
''She's not really my type. But she winked at me because she knows how I feel.'' Danny is standing right behind John, who still hadn't looked up from his search for chopsticks.  
''Oh, and how is it you feel?''  
Danny puts his hand on John's arm and turned him around gently. ''Like this,'' he said as he put his lips against John's lips. The kiss started out chaste. Danny put his arms around John's neck and pulled him closer. John encircled Danny's waist with his arms. They stood there kissing as it became something more passionate. Lips moving over lips, and when the lips parted tongues peaked out to caress and lick. Light kisses evolved into deeper kisses. And deep kisses lightened again. Teeth nipped gently. It was a back and forth dance involving teeth, tongues, and lips. They remained standing in the kitchen for quite some time.   
As they stood, their bodies moved against each other gently swaying with the music. Both John and Danny had been running their hands up and down each other's torsos. Time passed, after a half an hour, Danny reached down and slid his hands into John's back pockets, cupping John's lovely behind.   
Suddenly John pulled back almost as if waking from a dream. ''Uh, excuse me for a minute, please. Where's the loo,'' he asked as he pulled back from Danny.   
Danny dazed a little looked confused gesturing down the hallway. ''Sure, OK, right through there.'' And then he turned back to warming the take away as if nothing had happened.  
John found the loo and closed the lid and sat down. He felt his heart beat out of his chest. He stood, splashed cold water on his face and then sat again. His mind seemed to be in a competition with his racing heart. He really liked Danny, more than he expected to. In the past couple weeks he had become very close to this beautiful younger man. He had promised himself no more fucking around. If he got physical with Danny now, what would happen he asked himself. John knew he was falling in love with Danny. Is this what he really wanted?   
What his heart wanted, John knew well. His heart wanted someone who was gone. Sherlock was never coming back. Now the question, is he using Danny as a substitute for Sherlock or is he falling in love with him. If he's a substitute, that isn't fair to Danny. John needed to make a decision. But John knew what he needed to do now at least. He stood up in Danny's bathroom, ramrod straight. He invaded Afghanistan, he could do this. He washed his hands after flushing the toilet, and almost marched back to the kitchen.  
Danny looked up from where he was scooping the rewarmed take away onto the plates. He looked concerned. ''You OK? He asked quietly.  
''Sorry,'' John mumbled, ''I'm OK,'' as if he were trying to convince himself as well.  
They took their places at the table and started to eat. Danny had finished making the tea as well. After several bites of food Danny cleared his throat and addressed his plate. ''I'm sorry if I was too forward.''  
John reached across the table and touched Danny's chin, guiding it up to look his in the eyes. ''No, it's me. I'm the problem.'' John dropped his hand to the table and clasped Danny's hand, ''understand?''  
Danny nodded his head, and they continued to eat holding hands while Beethoven played in the background.   
After the food was consumed, the washing up was done, and they both had a drink decidedly stronger than tea. They went into the sitting room and took opposite sides of the sofa.   
Danny turned so he was facing John sitting cross legged.   
John took a deep breath. “I want to apologise for earlier. I am having...” he didn’t finish his thought.  
“It’s OK John, I guess I misread the signals.”  
“No, no you didn’t misread anything. I really like you.”  
“But you are not ready to move on.” Danny ventured a guess.  
“Maybe, yes, no, I don’t know. All I know is I really like you. I really enjoy snogging you and everything else we've done.’’ John’s face was turning redder by the second and he’s never been one to blush. He was thankful for the dim lighting in the room.   
“I need to be honest with you.” John said firmly.  
Danny nodded, so John continued. “As you probably know I lived with Sherlock Holmes for a couple of years before he killed himself. Sherlock was a brilliant man. I loved him very much. What I haven’t told you is that I never told him I loved him. ''   
Tears formed in John’s eyes and slowly overflowed and ran down his cheeks. “Sherlock liked to pretend he didn’t care, or didn’t have feelings like us normal people. I’m now sure he did have feelings, very deep feelings. I fell in love with him not all that long after I moved in. I think he may have loved me too. I feel so guilty now. I should have told him how much I loved him.” The tears are coming full force. Danny’s are no longer dry either.   
Danny reached out and pulled John into an awkward hug. “Oh John,” is all he manages to say with a choked sound.   
They were in each other’s arms. John was sobbing uncontrollably. Danny kissed John’s hair and made soft comforting sounds. They rocked back and forth.  
John made a herculean effort to finish. “I think if I told him how I felt, he may not have killed himself."   
"Oh no, John," Danny tried to sooth him. "That can't be true. It will be alright."   
John continued to sob uncontrollably. Danny was rocking them back and forth. Kissing John's hair, then his forehead, his eyelids, and his cheeks. Then he was kissing John's lips. It was not even close to chaste this time. John was hungrily kissing Danny, and Danny was kissing back like it was a matter of life and death. John stretched out and dragged Danny with him until Danny was fully reclined on top of him. Pressed against each other from chest to knees there was hardly a hairs breadth between them. It seemed as if they were devouring each other. Their erections lined up perfectly. Danny reached up and grasped John's face as he thrust his hips into the other man's groin. They simultaneously let out desperate groans. John reached down between their bodies and somehow was able to reach his belt. Danny opened his eyes and gazed into John's face. John opened his eyes as he started to unfasten his belt buckle, and a terrified look crossed Danny's face. He jumped up off John and as the blonde looked on Danny ran from the room, then there was the sound of a door slamming.  
John sat up on the sofa feeling a little dazed. He had no idea what had just happened. He then heard the sound of retching from the loo. Concerned he went into the short hallway and knocked softly on the door.  
''Danny, are you all right?'' He said through the door. There was the sound of water running, the toilet flushing, and the door slowly opened. Danny looked very pale in the dim light.  
''I am so sorry John,'' Danny said weakly.   
''It's OK, I'm just not sure what just happened. Do you want to talk about it?''  
Danny shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. ''Give me a minute.'' Danny went back into the loo and brushed his teeth and splashed cold water on his face. John returned to the sofa.  
Danny looked very nervous as he sat down next to John. ''I'd like to explain but I'm not sure what to say. John I really like you but I'm not sure I'm ready to have sex with you.''  
Johns first reaction was anger. ''What the fucking hell? What is the matter with you? You're not some blushing virgin!'' John jumped up and started towards the door to the flat. He glanced back at Danny and saw tears there. When Danny noticed John was looking at him he shifted his gaze to the floor.  
John stopped in his tracks. Danny really didn't do anything to warrant John's anger. Now it was John's turn to apologise. He was being a dick. He returned to the sofa. They sat in silence for some time both men examining their shoes. Danny was the first to speak. ''I know I have been sending mixed signals to you but I have a dilemma.”   
John nodded his head. “It’s OK. I know I said I’d give you the time after your argument with Scottie. I’ve been a real arsehole.”  
“No, you’re not. I need to make a decision. I know you don't understand and I promise if you can wait just little longer I will explain everything. You will have to trust me. If you don’t want to wait, well…'' Danny shrugs his shoulders dejectedly..  
John turned an assessing gaze on the other man. He was trying to figure out what was going on inside his friend's head. ''You are confusing the fuck out of me, but I really like you too. I wish Sherlock was here with his powers of deduction. He could explain it to me and tell me I'm an idiot.''  
At this Danny smiled weakly. ''I'm sure he would be able to straighten me out and call me an idiot too. But, if Sherlock was here you wouldn't be interested in me.''  
John almost told him that wasn't true but stopped himself. ''Maybe but Sherlock never kissed me.''  
At this Danny looked thunderstruck. ''What? But you lived together.''  
John raised an eyebrow. ''Yes, and we had two bedrooms.''  
''Yes, but you loved him.''  
''Yes, I did.''   
''He never kissed you?'' Danny asked again.  
''Never!'' John confirmed.  
''Really, never? How about…''Danny said making vague motions.  
''Really! Never! Nothing!'' John said.   
''But, but,'' Danny sputtered.

When we first met, he told me he was married to his work. That was fine with me because even though I’d fancied blokes in the past, I never ever acted on those feelings. I didn’t really want to be gay. Like I really ever had a choice.” He laughs bitterly. “When people would say we were a couple, I always made it a point to correct them by saying ‘I’m not gay!’ I’m quite ashamed about that now. It turns out I am firmly in the bisexual camp. We never did anything intimate. I think he was…asexual.''  
''Oh, OK. I guess I was wrong.'' Danny said still shocked.  
Suddenly John felt very tired. ''You know, I think maybe we should call it a night.''  
''Yes, '' Danny agreed. ''Are we still on for Rugby tomorrow?''  
John nodded, ''If you still want to. Lestrade was disappointed he didn't get to meet you last week.''  
They agreed on a time and said their good nights with a tender semi-platonic kiss.  
On the way home John's mobile chimed with a text.

I really am sorry about tonight forgive me ~D  
Nothing to forgive~JW  
Thanks good night sweetie~D   
John typed ‘I love you’, then deleated it.  
Good night Danny~JW he typed and sent it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are rapidly coming to the end of this story. Only one more chapter to go. I owe so much to my beta haffieliesel (Teaandcakes). Thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be the final chapter, but it won't be now. We find out what Danny's been hiding. John gets everything colossally wrong when he jumps to conclusions. You may think I'm the most rubbish writer on AO3, and take back any kudos you have given me(if that is possible.) I am truly sorry.

Greg Lestrade missed the rugby match the week before. England defeated Fiji, and he had been called in to work. He really wanted to see John. He had worried about his friend after Sherlock had taken his own life. Greg felt very regretful for the part he had played in Sherlock’s fall from grace. But he never thought Sherlock would commit suicide. He had been stunned to learn that the bloody bastard had jumped to his death right in front of his best friend’s eyes. The last couple of times he had seen John he seemed better, though.   
When John said he was dating a bloke, Greg was eager to meet this mystery man. Lestrade was protective of his friend and he wanted to meet the man who John called Sweetie. They made plans to go back to the same pub from the previous Saturday. England was playing Australia who were a stronger opponent. John made plans to meet Greg and Danny at half one. He arrived a few minutes early and went inside and ordered a pint. Greg got there five minutes later. After getting a pint for himself, they found a booth with a great view of the TV. Lestrade smiled one of his trademark smiles and said, "so, a bloke?"  
John smiled broadly back at his friend and nodded, ''Yup, a bloke, cheers!'' as he raised his glass.  
''Cheers,'' Greg replied smiling.  
''And here he is now.'' John stood and beckoned Danny over, then caught the server’s eye, and motioned for another pint. Greg stood as well. Danny joined the men at the table and stepped into John's arms for a brief hug and kiss.  
With a shy smile Danny said, ''Hi, I'm Danny.'' He stuck out his hand and shook Greg's offered hand.  
''Greg Lestrade, nice to finally meet you.'' Greg took his seat again. ''Sorry about last week, murders you know.''  
''When you have a job like detective inspector I would imagine things come up.''  
''That they do,'' Greg agreed. The three men made small talk, waiting for the match to start. Whenever Danny was distracted, Greg stole looks at him. After a few minutes, Greg spoke up, ''Danny, have we met before? Do I know you from somewhere?''  
Danny turned and looked Greg over. Greg Lestrade was a remarkable looking older man. He was in his early fifties but fit as many men half his age. With his thick gray hair, and boyish smile, he deserved the nickname, the Silver Fox. ''I don't think so,'' Danny said.  
Greg shook his head. ''I don't usually forget a face. I'll remember it.''  
Danny looked slightly uncomfortable, but John squeezed his knee under the table.  
Very soon Greg announced "I'm going to the loo before this thing starts."  
John turned to Danny who still looked slightly uncomfortable. ''Don't worry he's a decent guy for a copper. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.'' Danny shrugged his shoulders, but still didn't look convinced.  
Although England lost to the Aussies, but it was an exciting game. The three men had taken turns buying rounds. By the end of the match all three men were more or less pissed. As the alcohol flowed, John became more affectionate with Danny. By the time it ended they were snuggled together in the corner of the booth, Sogging frequently and gazing at each other with lust.  
Greg looked over at them, and pronounced them adorable. John and Danny looked at each other and broke into hysterical laughter.  
Danny announced he needed the loo, and stood and made his way towards the facilities. Greg pulled John aside and lowered his voice. "Listen, mate," Greg said. "I really think I recognize your friend Danny, I'm just not sure from where. I don't think he's a criminal or anything like that, but I know him from somewhere. I will remember. I always do."  
"OK," John said, "let me know if you think of it. I'm sure it's nothing bad. He was in some trouble overseas about the time he would have been in uni. He changed his name to get away from his overbearing family. But I don't think he's been in trouble since." John saw Danny coming back.  
"Now what?" Danny asked raising his eyebrows at John.   
Lestrade announced he had work in the morning. As they left the pub, John and Danny shook hands with Greg, but he pulled John into an affectionate hug. "You guys take care of each other." he said with a wink.  
"Don't worry about us we always do." John answered back with a laugh.  
John and Danny stood on the pavement outside the pub. "You don't want to go back to that dance club from last week? Do you?" Danny said hopefully. The cool air of the early evening was bracing and had acted to sober them up slightly.   
"We could if you want, or I know a place that is a little different. I even heard they had a band tonight. What do you think?"   
Danny looked suspiciously at John, but said "Tell me more."  
"Have you ever heard of electro-swing?" John asked.  
"Yes, well I actually love swing dancing. When we were kids, my parents insisted that my brothers and I took dancing lessons. We learned everything from the waltz to the tango with a little ballet and modern interpretive dance thrown in. We all liked it. None of us were interested in sports and I think it was our parents attempt to give us physical activity in our daily lives. My parents still go line dancing in Texas, at least they did, last time I talked to them. I loved the Lindy hop."  
"Well if you want, let's go." John grabbed Danny's hand dragging him towards the tube station.  
When they got to the club it was "hopping". John took off his jumper and left it with his jacket. If they had braces they would have looked perfect. They were to only guy-guy couple but there were two girl-girl couples. They hit the dance floor and were there for the better part of four hours. Danny danced just about non-stop with brief breaks for refreshments, and loo trips. John being a little older, sat out several songs while Danny danced with a young girl who reminded him of Molly Hooper. She introduced herself as Charlie and asked Danny to dance. She also asked John if he would mind. John thought this was very polite.   
As John waved them towards the dance floor he felt very old. Danny came back and gave John a very long, passionate, kiss and winked at him before heading back to the dance floor.  
Danny impressed John with his energy, and his dancing skill. John was a novice, but he enjoyed the music and watching his boyfriend dance. The way Danny moved was beautiful. John had heard dancers described as "poetry in motion". After two dances Charlie said something to Danny and they returned to where John was sitting. Danny asked John if he wanted to dance again. John went back to the dance floor and after 2 songs they switched out again. The rest of the night they alternated. Finally Danny was tired. The band had packed up and a DJ had been providing the music for a while. There were only a scattering of couples left on the dance floor. After finishing a set with Charlie he asked John to get some more beverages, and exhausted, he slid into the booth across from her.   
"That was fun." Danny said looking closer at Charlie. John returned with a round of drinks quickly. Danny and Charlie were both drenched with sweat. Charlie's make up was defiantly past its’ prime. Looking closer Danny noticed stubble on Charlie's chin. Danny looked at Charlie's neck and saw an Adam's apple, her hands were masculine as well. Danny must have been staring a little too long because Charlie noticed.  
Danny pulled his eyes away abruptly when he was caught looking. Charlie then said, "This was the most fun I've ever had here. You know they play a lot of different kinds of music here. People only dance with me until a slow dance comes along. When they think I'm a bloke, they don't usually want to dance with me anymore. Really I'm gender fluid." She said wistfully.   
"People are idiots and bigots. You are a great dancer. I'd dance with you anytime." Danny   
John echoed the sentiment.  
"When I'm feeling girly, I just really love to dance in dresses. The way they flow, it's just fun, especially swing dancing." Charlie said smiling.  
"Well you look good out there. Do you use male or female pronouns?" Danny asked.  
"It depends on the day and how I'm feeling. Either is OK. Sometimes I feel like a guy, sometimes I feel like a girl. It's most inconvenient when I'm feeling masculine and grow a beard. That's just about the time I'll start feeling girly and want to shave it off." She said with a laugh. "I'm just me."  
"Well that's fantastic." John said smiling broadly at her. "As long as you are true to yourself, that's great."   
Charlie suddenly looked a little shy. "Say if you boys would like to do this again..."  
"What a great idea." John said when she didn't finish her thought. "This was really a lot of fun."  
They both exchanged mobile numbers with Charlie. When they were finally ready to go, they both gave her a hug and a kiss on her cheek.  
As they walked to the tube station Danny stopped and asked, "Do you want to do something tomorrow, uh er, I mean today? How about dinner? or I don't know anything you wanted?"   
"Well I was going to ask if you'd like to sleep over at my flat? We aren't really far from mine. We don't have to do anything. I promise I wouldn't attack you." John awkwardly finished with a little laugh. "I'd be a gentleman. And your toothbrush is still there from the night we met."  
"Yes I remember. That would be nice. I promise I'll be a gentleman too. Then we can spend tomorrow together."  
"That's great." John said as they joined hands and turned towards John's flat.  
An hour and a half later they were laying on John's bed each freshly showered (separately, thank you very much) and dressed in pants and a t-shirt. Looking up at the ceiling the streetlights, shining into the window, seemed to dance as the wind blew the trees outside. They held hands in the middle but John was glad the flat came with a double bed. There was enough room for them each to have their own space. They talked groggily about how good it was to have friends, what they might do in the morning, and how great it was that had met.   
They both slept soundly all night. They both woke about 10am. John ran out and grabbed pastries and fancy coffee drinks from a nearby café. They read the paper and had a leisurely morning. They watched a little telly. It was a very lazy day.   
John thought about how comfortable he felt with Danny. John felt peacefully happy. Rarely in his life had John felt so relaxed just doing nothing with another person. Really the only time before had been with Sherlock. John had even contemplated how Danny might fit into his life in a more permanent way. Although it was still very new and the relationship had not progressed far into intimacy, he thought it would probably get very serious very quickly.  
Sitting on the sofa with Danny’s head in his lap, John was running his fingers through Danny’s hair. The silky dark brown strands running between his fingers, so much like Sherlock’s. John’s had always wished he had done this with Sherlock. In his imagination Sherlock had always given him a feline vibe. If he had “pet” Sherlock like this he would have expected Sherlock to almost purr. This thought made a lump form in John’s throat. John looked down and saw that Danny’s eyes were closed. Silent tears formed in John’s eyes. They slipped down his cheeks. A single question kept running through his mind. “What should he do?”  
John wants to ask Danny to take this to the next level, but he wishes it was Sherlock.   
Maybe he should just wake Danny and drag him into the bedroom. He would strip him and lay him down on the bed. John would kiss him from his toes, up his calves, to his thighs. Taking Danny’s cock into his mouth would be wonderful. To learn how he liked his cock sucked. John would start with gentle licks and kisses. Then slide the foreskin back and tongue the crown like a lolly, slightly sticking the tip of his tongue into the slit. It would be amazing.   
Over the past year John had had given and received head more times than he could count. Probably, he had often been inebriated and many of the memories were fuzzy. He guessed that if his technique wasn’t perfect he would certainly make up for it with enthusiasm if it was Danny under him. He was now sporting a hard-on, that was inconveniently poking into the back of Danny’s head. Maybe he should wake Danny and take him into the bedroom. He is just about to wake Danny when Danny’s eyes opened. John’s tears were no longer falling but there were still tear tracks on his cheeks. Danny face lit up as he smiles up at John.  
John reached down and cradled Danny’s head and leans forward. Their lips met in a tender kiss.  
“Danny, I think I’m falling in love with you.” John said softly.   
“Me too.” Danny answered.  
“Would you like to go to the bedroom?”  
“Are you sure?” Danny needed to know.  
John sighed deeply. “I feel so close to you, and I really want to give you pleasure. I feel a little silly for not taking you to bed weeks ago. I feel a little afraid that you will get tired of me dicking around,” John said with a small huff of a laugh, “and tell me to sod off. I wouldn’t blame you.”  
“Oh no, that’s not going to happen. I don’t mind taking it slow.”  
“I’m not sure this counts as slow, it’s almost glacial.” They share a quiet laugh.   
“So what do you want to do now, Danny?”  
“Well as I see it, you are afraid of hurting me because you may still be in love with a man who jumped off a building in front of you. Is that right?”  
“Yup that pretty much sums it up.”  
“And said person never returned your affection?”  
“Well to be fair I think he was asexual and maybe he couldn’t return my affection. I don’t think he was wired that way.”  
Danny jumped up suddenly, startling John. “Oh that is bull shit. He just didn’t want to take the chance of getting hurt himself! He was too afraid to put himself out there. He, he was a bastard to you, ignoring your feelings…” Danny stammered out before putting his hand over his mouth as if to stop more words from getting away from him. “Oh crap!” he whispered.  
John has fresh tears in his eyes.  
“I’m so sorry John. I should not have said that.”  
“No, that’s OK, you have the right to be angry. But you should direct that anger at me. Sherlock isn’t here to defend himself.”  
“Yeah isn’t that convenient.” Danny said to himself, so low John didn’t catch it.  
“What was that?” John asked.  
“Nothing… I really am very sorry I said those things. It’s not my place.”  
“Well let’s forget it.” John said turning to Danny. “So where were we?”

John asked if Danny would like to go out for tea before he went home. Several hours later John and Danny were just leaving the restaurant, when John caught sight of a familiar large black car. It had been a lovely romantic date with great food, wine and conversation. They were walking hand in hand at a leisurely pace. Wearing warm jackets allowed them to enjoy the chilly air. The car slowed down so that it kept up with but never passed them. Blowing out his breath, John rolled his eyes in exasperation. As they continued down the street John actually glared at the car, for all the good it did him. Danny noticed but didn’t say anything. After a minute the rear window slid down silently.  
''John, may I have a word?'' Mycroft's cultured voice came from the car’s interior.  
John kept on walking, trying to ignore the intrusion. Danny looked nervously at the car and slowed his pace. A look of anger crossed John's expressive face. ''Leave me alone Mycroft. If you want to talk to me, call me tomorrow and we can set up a meeting! Even you should be able to tell I'm on a date.'' He turned away from the car and back to his companion. Danny looked even more nervous. ''Sorry,'' John mumbled.  
''Apologies for my timing but it is a very important matter. It concerns both you and your date.''  
Mycroft said the word date as if it tasted foul in his mouth.  
John stopped and gave Mycroft a murderous glare. ''OK,'' John said with a venomous look, '' Five minutes! Not one second more''  
The door to the vehicle opened. John turned to Danny, ''I'll be back in a tick.'' The look on Danny's face was unreadable.   
John gets in the car and Mycroft said, ‘‘you too Daniel. Please do join us.'' This time it was John's turn to look confused.  
Danny slid onto the leather seat beside John and suddenly looked like his feet are the most interesting thing he's seen in some time. John looked back and forth between Mycroft and Danny.  
''Sorry, do you two know each other?''  
Danny mumbled a soft ''Yeah.''   
Simultaneously Mycroft said ''in a manner of speaking.” He looked pointedly at Danny and said, “Danny, would you like to fill Doctor Watson in, or shall I?''  
John looked absolutely gob smacked. ''What in the bloody fucking hell is going on here. Would someone PLEASE fill me in!?!’’   
Danny looked like he might vomit. He turned to John with a pleading look in his eyes.  
''I am so sorry, John’’ Danny looked utterly defeated.   
John looked back and forth between the two men. A look of enlightenment flickered across his face before absolute rage was back. He shook his head back and forth in disbelief. Lowering his voice to almost a whisper, John said, ''Oh I fucking get it now, you fucking work for Mycroft.'' John spits out in disgust.   
Danny and Mycroft looked at each other, their mouths gaping open like fish out of water. John didn't notice the confusion on their faces. John couldn’t even look at them.  
Still in a whisper, shaking his head John said ''How could I not see it until now! I am a God damned fucking idiot! Danny is obviously a fucking plant!” his face was now a mask of agony. “How much is Mycroft paying you to keep me from having anonymous sex with strangers?”   
Then he looked directly at Mycroft, and raised his voice. “Did you think it would tarnish Sherlock's memory to have me behaving like a slag? Did it reflect badly on you? You went to all the trouble of putting me back together after your brother broke my heart? Well fuck you both.”  
Raising his voice even louder John yelled, ''STOP THIS FUCKING CAR RIGHT THIS FUCKING MINUTE YOU FUCKING WANKERS! Sherlock was right when he said I see but I don't observe!''  
As the car pulled over John hastily scrambled from the car almost before it had stopped moving.   
Not looking at Danny or Mycroft, John’s voice cracked as he said, ''I should have known from the start that I'd never pull someone like Danny.” John's voice went from  
fury to hurt at lightning speed. “Just leave me alone the both of you!'' With that John slammed the car door and strode away as fast as he could.   
Inside the car tears were running down Danny's face. Danny started to rise and go after John. Mycroft reached across the gap between them and put his hand on Danny's knee. It stilled him.  
“I think not.” Mycroft said firmly. He pulled an embroidered handkerchief from a pocket, and then handed it to Danny.   
“But Mycroft I think I love him.” Danny said after blowing his nose.   
“You know I’ve always told both you and Sherlock caring is not an advantage. You knew who he was from the very start. You knew he was our brother's paramour.”   
Danny looked across the car at his oldest brother and asked the question that had been at the forefront of his mind since he started to fall in love with John Watson. “What will happen when Sherlock comes home?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure where to go after this. If anyone has any good ideas shoot them my way over at tumblr (foxy61). The whole story (so far) just came to me. I thought I would figure out the end by the time I got there. But there have been no sudden insights, and I'm still not sure what happens next. I love Danny, I love John and I love Sherlock. I want them to all be happy!

**Author's Note:**

> I have more written, but I'd like to know what everyone thinks. Please comment, comments are gold!


End file.
